***Sorry, I didn't check spelling or anything so... hope it's not too bad! I just wanted to get this up tonight cause I haven't updated in a while... hope you like it***
“Delta Flight 6564: New York to Moscow, will begin boarding at Gate 3 now.” A woman’s voice sounded over the PA system at the airport. Wearing an old pair of American Eagle sweats and a Fleury practice shirt; I clutched my carry-on in one hand and Mattie’s hand in the other.
We made our way over to the boarding terminal, about to walk through the final corridor before I came to a halt.
“I don’t think I can do this…” I whispered, not needing to explain myself to Mattie; he knew me too well. He didn’t respond to me verbally, opting instead to give my hand a tight squeeze before pulling me through the threshold behind him.
Not being one to enjoy flying; I had doped myself up on gravol and Nyquil before we had arrived at the airport. Feeling extremely groggy before we were seated, I I fell asleep easily - my head on Mattie’s shoulder - before the plane took off from the run-way.
I woke up to Consti slopping ice-cold water down my front. “What the hell Consti?” He flashed me a mischievous smile before taking off down the aisle. “Shit!” I sat up, taking a peek around to make sure no one was left on the plane beside Mattie and me. I pulled my shirt up over my head, tossing it down on my bag and pulling a gray hoodie - compliments of Mattie - over my head. I shoved my wet shirt into my bag and threw it over my shoulder before shuffling down the aisle and off the plane.
The bitter Russian, December wind felt like a thousand knives against my face as we descended the stairs and made our way over to Dean; who was flagging us towards the door he was holding open. I pulled the hoodie in tight around my face and quickened my pace, as Mattie and I entered the hot airport terminal together.
“Alright guys… we’re staying at the Marriott and you two will be in room 306. Here’s your keys, schedules and info packages,” Dean said, handing each one out. “So… the bus is right there…” he pointed over his shoulder, “and, were you the last ones off?”
We nodded as he finished checking boxes on his clip-board. I readjusted my bag and followed Mattie to the bus, grabbing a pair of seats near the front; watching the lights of Moscow flash by our window.
“I can’t believe we have a bonding week before the tournament…” Mattie laughed as stretched out on our bed, flipping through the schedule. “Scavenger hunt, hmm… vodka factory tour… I didn’t know Russians made vodka…”
I laughed as I finished unpacking and turned to look at him, “I’m pretty sure Russian’s are suppose to make the best vodka.” Mattie’s lips formed into a comical ‘o’ as he went back to flipping through pages. “So, what are we doing tonight?”
“Notta. We’re going on a tour of Moscow tomorrow… bus leaves at 7! What?!” He exclaimed, waving the schedule in front of my face. I grabbed it out of his hand and tossed it onto the floor.
“Were you expecting to sleep in till noon?”
“No but… 7! Really?” I shook my head, not bothering to hide the smile on my face. A knock at the door sent me off the bed and across the room. I pulled the door open expecting Jake or Consti; finding Rennie and some friends instead.
“Uh… hey. We’re going out to some club, Consti said we can get in with our Team USA passes… you guys wanna come?” I still felt like crap after my gravol/Nyquil concoction, but I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to get to know my team better. I took a quick look down at my sweats and then back at Mattie, who was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, shaking his head at the schedule.
“Yah! For sure,” I said turning back around to Rennie. “Meet you in the lobby in 5?” He nodded and headed off down the hall. I quickly closed the door and started to discard my clothing. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, a tight blue, low-cut shirt and pulled them on. Topping my outfit off with a pair of stiletto heels and an oh-so-sexy Columbian winter jacket. I looked back at Mattie who was digging through his suitcase, pulling out a green t-shirt and pulling it on over his beater and jeans.
We walked out into the hall at the same time Jake and Aaron came out of their room; together the four of us headed to the lobby, meeting up with 20 other people.
“24?” I asked coming into the room, “who’s missing?”
“Consti, he’s at the bar by himself.” A few of us that knew Consti laughed. The rest stood uncomfortably, we all shifted back in forth, watching each other; most eyes were on me.
“So… we should go before Dean realizes we’re gone…” Rennie suggested, getting agreement from everyone.
Our huge group headed down the sidewalk outside; it was still freezing cold, but lucky for us it wasn’t snowing. The bar was three blocks away and it didn’t take long to reach it. As Consti had informed the boys; our Team USA badges got us in, no questions asked, and we were ushered in to a closed off lounge.
I took a seat on one of the white leather couches, beside Mattie, who automatically put his arm around me and pulled me closer. The rest of the guys pilled around and we re-introduced ourselves.
25 of us in total had made Team USA, the order, according to the schedule Dean had given us:
1. Carlie Simone ( C ) - Line 1
2. Matthew Doiron ( RW ) - Line 1
3. Jake McQuaid ( C ) - Line 2
4. Adam Rennie ( G ) - Starter
5. Carter Vessey ( D ) - Line 2
6. Chris Rayner ( LW ) - Line 2
7. Adam Constable ( D ) - Line 1
8. Aaron Turner ( C ) - Line 3
9. Jeremy Butler ( D ) - Line 1
10. Steven Miller( RW ) - Line 2
11. Andrew O‘Shea( LW ) - Line 1
12. Wayne Metcalf( RW ) - Line 3
13. Sheehan Bryenton ( LW ) - Line 3
14. Brett Messick( D ) - Line 2
15. Kyle Likely( C ) - Line 4
16. Corey Beaton( D ) - Line 3
17. Rylie Squire( RW ) - Line 4
18. Corey O‘Shea( D ) - Line 3
19. Jackson Dowling( LW ) - Line 4
20. Matthew Farrar( G ) - Reserve
21. Spencer Murphy( D ) - Line 4
22. Jared Malone( D ) - Line 4
23. Jonathan Morgan ( Extra Defence )
24. Michael Grey (Extra Centre )
25. Kevin Reid ( Extra Winger )
So far I was still having a hard time putting names to faces, but obviously, being the only girl on the team; they all knew me.
Mattie had hit it off with the O’Shea twins from Buffalo, and was caught up in a deep conversation with them. I spent some quality time with Rennie and his friends from Oklahoma, Steven Miller and Brett Messick.
After a couple hours Consti made his way back over to everyone, some Russian girls in tow. He saw me talking to Rennie and made a B-line for us; grabbing my arms and pulling me off the couch before I could protest. He dragged me onto the dance floor and tried to make me dance.
I was a horrible dancer, and I knew it, so I usually tried to avoid these situations whenever it was at all possible. Although judging by the grip Consti had on me, this one was not about to be avoided. Eventually I gave in, allowing him to spin me, dip me , and every other foolish thing he could think of.
After three songs he pulled me close to him and leaned down to breathe his whiskey-scented breath in my ear. “You got something with another hockey boy you need to tell me about?”
“No… why?”
“Superstar over there has been staring at you since you got here. I thought it was just cause of the badge but he’s still watching you, he actually made his friends move to a new table with him to keep an eye on me.”
I didn’t need to turn around to know who he was talking about, but I did anyway. There was a dozen or so NHL players spread out in the exclusive VIP lounge. At the table closest to the stairs sat some familiar faces, my ’ex’ among them. Max Talbot, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury, Colby Armstrong, Alexander Ovechkin, Sergi Gonchar and an assortment of women sat at the large round table. On seeing my stare, Sidney waved, motioning for me to go over. Consti looked down at me and smiled, taking my hand and moving to the stairs before I could stop him. Rennie walked by and I grabbed onto his arm; trying to stop Constis’ movement with the added wait. My plan backfired once Rennie saw Sidney wave again. He gave me an amazed look before grabbing my other hand and dragging me up the stairs with Consti.
Sidney stood up when we reached them, greeting me with a hand shake and introducing himself to the boys.
“You guys, this is Carlie Simone, the girl I was telling you about… she’s a forward for Team USA, she’s gonna be playing this week. These are her friends, John Rennie and Adam Constable.”
“You can call me Rennie… I’m a huge fan… you’re like my hero!” Rennie shouted over the music, reaching out to shake hands with Fleury; who smiled and thanked him. A few people moved over to make room as three chairs appeared out of thin air.
We spent the next while talking about training camp and all hockey-related things.
After our conversation switched from pro-hockey to the game NHL 2009, a blond girl spoke up, “Wow… you’re just as bad as them! Hockey, hockey, hockey… don’t you ever get sick of it?”
I stared at her with a sincerely shocked look, “Of course not… it’s hockey!” The guys all laughed along with me and we fell back into comfortable conversation, until another Max started asking me random questions about my love-life.
“So… must be weird, eh? Playing on the same team as your boyfriend. You guys ever get into nasty fights or what?” I shook my head and laughed along with Consti.
“No, we get along pretty good… and when we do fight I always win anyway.” I answered simply, earning a nod of approval from Fleury.
“Is the same way with us,” he threw his arm around the black-haired girl next to him, “she always win!” I laughed at the smile on his face and the way she rolled her eyes at his comments; like it was no surprise. I glanced over at Sidney to see him giving Consti a strange look, then it hit me; they thought Consti was my boyfriend.
“Oh!” I exclaimed, putting my hand over my mouth and laughing out loud. “He’s not my boyfriend!” I pointed at Consti, “he’s just a friend… my boyfriend does play on our team though.” I looked through the crowd trying to find Mattie, finally finding him at the bar. He was evidently trashed and was sitting at the bar with the O’Shea twins; they had their arms around each other shoulders. I shook my head and laughed again. “He’s the guy… hugging the twin… boys…” I sighed and took a sip of pop as the table erupted with laughter.
Colby Armstrong leaned over toward me, a big grin on his face. “You’re a pretty girl and all, but I don’t think he’s going home with you tonight.” I rolled my eyes and punched Consti - who was laughing the loudest of all - in the gut. As fun as the night had been, I could still feel my ’ex-boyfriends’ eyes on me, and the only thing more awkward then sitting this close to him and talking to him; was having no one else know that we already knew each other.
No one else seemed to pick up on the sparks that were firing across the table either, or the fact that he was still staring at the back of Mattie’s head with venom in his eyes.
I didn’t see his problem, I had kept up my promise; to stay in contact. I had exchanged e-mails with him over the past few months since training camp had ended. He was suppose to leave Mattie alone, to not push me into anything; and here he was, all but diving over the railing at my boyfriend.
The worst part about the whole night, was that I kept hoping Mattie wouldn’t come over. I knew that he would have no idea of my past relationship, but I didn’t want a reminder that I was off limits. I didn’t want to be off limits to the handsome man that sat across from me, not tonight.
Like every guy at this table, he had girls on either side of him. They were all generic though; those, insert pretty girl here, Barbie type-A girls. It made me feel happy that he wasn’t paying any attention to their fawning; and made me feel guilty that I cared.
Last call went out around the bar, as the Russian techno music began to be turned down; the lights turned up. I took a last look across the table to find him looking back at me. I sighed and gave him a small smile.
“We should head back, it was really nice meeting you all! Hopefully you’ll make it out to some of the games…” I said as I pushed myself up from my chair.
“Wouldn’t miss it! I’m expecting a hat trick in the first game, by the way.” Crosby quipped as I headed down to the bar to collect Mattie.
“Just for you superstar!” I laughed over my shoulder, noticing that Consti and Rennie were right behind me.
Mattie was too drunk to walk by himself; Consti threw him over his shoulder and headed outside. I ran back up to the couches to get my coat before following them out.
Consti threw Mattie down on the bed, he was out cold. I said good night to the rest of the guys and closed the door; stripping down into a pair of boy shorts and a long-sleeved Crosby shirt.
I was settling into bed when there was a knock at the door. It was loud, but it didn’t even register with Mattie, who was snoring soundly beside me. I looked at the clock; 4:17AM. Go to bed Consti! I thought feverishly as I opened the door.
“Oh! Hi Max…how did you know where-”
“We need to talk.” The penguin said, leaning on my doorframe, a look of fear on his face.
“Umm…” I looked behind me at Mattie, “I don’t think this is the best time Max…” I didn’t need to ask why he was here. There was only one reason he would be coming to call at this late.
“It has to be now… I won’t get any sleep if we don’t talk now.” I nodded, understanding completely what he meant. I took a last look at Mattie, before pulling the door stopper down and stepping out into the hall after Max. He disappeared around a corner and I rounded it; not seeing him anywhere. I continued a few paces down the hallway, when I felt someone grab my arm and pull me into a room.
Before I knew it I was standing in the ’ice/pop machine’ room, face-to-face with Evgeni Malkin.
“Where did Max go?” I asked, as the Russian stared down at me, his brown eyes watching me patiently. After a minute of silence I asked again, “Where did Max go?” This time he responded with a nonchalant shrug.
“This matter?” He asked in broken English.
“No, I guess not… why did he go to my room then?”
“Um. I know, you not come here if you know it’s me.” He looked down at the floor, his face contorted in pain. I reached out my hand to him, pulling it back before I could touch him.
“Evgeni, I’m sorry… I can’t do this… I have to go.” I took a step towards the door, but he grabbed me and pulled me against him.
“You don’t…”
“But I do… Mattie’s-” He cut me off with a kiss. His lips were hot and rough on mine. I had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, and now I knew; it was better than anything I had imagined. All the hours I had spent day-dreaming about it seemed so dull and foolish now, when compared to the real thing.
Somehow my hands had become intertwined in his hair, my body was pressing up against him on it’s own accord.
Suddenly my mind began to work again and I realized the implications of what I was doing. I pulled back, pushing myself away from him before he could stop me. I put my hands over my face and turned my back to him. What did I just do? I could feel tears pooling under my lids and I shook my head trying to keep them away.
He timidly placed his hands on my shoulders, spinning me around and then pulling my hands down.
“You promised you wouldn’t do this… you said you wouldn’t do anything while I was with Mattie…”
“And you promise never to leave me… now we both break promise.” He pulled me against him again, this time to rest his chin on my head. “I’m sorry Carlie, I can’t help what it. I feel…” I could feel him shake his head, unable to find the words that we were both thinking.
“I need to go back Geno…”
“He drunk, he can’t know you not there.”
“No, but I know I’m not there. I need to be there Geno, I can’t do this to him…” I moved away from him, this time he didn’t try to stop me; instead he followed me out into the hall and laced his fingers with mine. I knew I should tell him to let go but the damage had already been done, and this didn’t feel worth the fight.
He walked me to my door, kissing my forehead goodnight. He was halfway down the hall before he turned around.
“Carlie. I mean what I say last time. We should be…” He interlaced the fingers on his two hands, searching.
“… together…”
He nodded. “We will be. It is how it should be.” I gave him a sad smile and he continued walking.
I closed my door behind me and walked over in between the two queen beds in our room. Mattie was now spread out over both sides, still snoring. I looked down at him and felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I couldn’t make out with my ex-boyfriend and then lie beside my new boyfriend. I sighed and pulled the covers off the other bed; crawling in before turning off the light, leaving myself alone in the dark.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Chapter 17
“Alright so… let’s get this show on the road!” Dean shouted from the podium clapping his hands together. The cafeteria was disgustingly tense today; so much was going to change in the next hour.
I had gotten almost no sleep the night before. Mattie and I had arrived back to the room around 5am, and were up three hours later to get ready for the final day of training camp. I was a bundle of nerves, holding Mattie’s hand firmly in mine, my forehead slumped onto the table. Carrol was still drunk and Marty was twitching his leg so bad it was moving the table. Consti was cool-as-a-cucumber, or so the expression goes, filling himself with a mound of food; in a room full of people to stressed to eat.
Mattie was subdued. He sat expressionless; one hand wrapped protectively around his stomach, the other still in my hand, was clammy and shaking slightly. It pained me to see him so upset, hopefully this would be over soon.
“We’ll do the individual awards first. Position, the extra awards and then the presentation of the championship trophies.” Dean explained, extending his arm to include the table of trophies set up behind him.
“First off. Over all best performance by a goalie, goes to… Adam Rennie!” I pulled my face off the table and clapped politely.
“No real surprise there…” I whispered to Mattie. Rennie shook Dean’s hand before carrying his trophy back down to his table.
“Over all best performance by a defenseman, goes to… Carter Vessey!” The giant 6’7” defenseman strutted up to the stage to get his award. Unsurprisingly Consti seemed nonchalant about the whole thing. I looked over at Mattie, he smiled weakly at me.
“Over all best performance by a forward, goes to… Carlie Simone!” I clapped my hands, continuing to look at Mattie.
Mattie looked back at me then started laughing, pushing me out of my seat. I looked around to see everyone looking at me. “Oh!” I blushed, heading up to the stage.
“Congratulations Carlie.” Dean said quietly as I shook his hand.
“Thanks Dean.” I smiled, carrying my trophy back to my seat.
Dean handed out a few more awards. Best play maker, went to Mattie; I embarrassed him by whistling when he went up for his award. Most Improved, went to my recent team-mate Aaron Turner. MVP went to Jake; and I was honoured with Most Points Scored Overall.
When it came time to hand out the final trophies, the training staff carted around some boxes of souvenir shirts to hand out to everyone that was left. I joined the rest of my team up on stage for the final award; the first place trophies. I couldn’t even bring myself to be excited anymore. I knew that the team cuts were about to be announced after this and that was the only thing left on my mind. As I stood on the stage beside Aaron, looking over the group of guys, I felt sick.
Luckily Dean was quick and I was able to return to my seat after just a few minutes. Now the real trouble started.
My friends and I sat in silence while Dean pinned up the single sheet of names on the back wall.
As De ja vu took over, Consti was the only one to get up and check. He strutted over to the wall, laughing as his finger traced down the names. He turned after a minute and marched back to where we were waiting.
“Picked number 7th over all… not too bad.” He smiled to himself before picking up his fork and continuing his breakfast.
“And…?” Carrol asked, leaning over the table.
“And what?”
“And were we on there?”
“Not all of you…” He sighed and looked up at Carrol. Carrol continued to stare at him; Consti shook his head, showing disappointment for the first time. “Carlie and Mattie made it… but...” he looked over at Marty, “you weren’t on there either man… sorry.” Marty nodded, staring down at his lap.
I was so excited I thought that my chest was about to burst open. Mattie was holding my hand under the table and squeezing it in quick pulses. We were both dying to celebrate but I could tell by the way he stayed at the table that these feelings would have to wait… right now Carrol and Marty needed us more.
Mattie and I were the last to leave the cafeteria. We sat quietly at our table, 4 awards shared between us, as we contently smiled at each other. Mattie tore his eyes from me and glanced around the room.
“We should probably head back now babe…” He said quietly, rubbing the back of his fingers along my cheek. I nodded and we both got up, grabbing our awards.
I hugged mine closely to my chest as we headed to the back of the room. We walked up to the list of names and read it over for ourselves.
My name was the first name on the list. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry. I continued reading; Mattie was right after me, followed by Jack. Aaron was further down the list, as were a few other names I recognized. I couldn’t keep my excitement in any longer; I had made Team USA, I was going to Russia to compete in a world-renown event, and best of all, Mattie was coming with me.
I felt hot tears rolling down my face as years of hardship and struggle washed over me in the form of vindication. Mattie saw the tears and spun me to the side so we were face to face. He looked concerned until I gave him a wide smile; he returned it then tossed his trophy over onto a nearby table, pulling mine out of my hands and tossing them too.
He pulled my up against him roughly and I was surprised by the force of his hands and mouth as he pressed his body against mine, but these thoughts didn’t last for long.
I smiled into the kiss as he deepened it bringing his tongue inside to find mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, winding my hands into his hair; insuring he couldn’t pull away.
With strength I was unfamiliar with he brought his hands down to the back of my thighs, lifting me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist and stifled a moan. He moved forward easily, until my back was pressed against the wall firmly. Brining his lips from mine, he moved down to my neck; one hand coming off of my thigh to explore the small of my back, moving up inside of my shirt. His hand worked it’s way under my bra so that his thumb was massaging my breast, causing my breathing to accelerate as I grabbed at his shoulders till my nails began to dig in through his t-shirt.
He started to lower me back to the ground, laughing at my groan of protest. His face was red and kissed me a few more times before pulling away.
“We should probably relocate this babe…” he trailed off in a husky voice. I watched his delicious lips as he spoke, sighing with the knowledge he was right.
“Fine, but we go now!” Mattie laughed at my exuberance and grabbed my hand, half-dragging me out of the cafeteria towards our dorm.
His phone buzzed half a dozen times as we dashed across the lawn and up the stairs. He threw open the door and shoved my roughly down on the bed before pulling off his shirt and climbing on top of me.
“Ok… stop everything! I’m gonna need some popcorn for this!” Consti quipped from his side of the room.
“If you don’t wanna see anything you should go cause I’m not stopping.” Mattie retorted.
Consti sat on the edge of his bed, “On second this, I don’t really wanna be here to watch Mattie fail at something besides hockey… I’ll be upstairs.” He dashed out of the room without a backwards glance.
Mattie’s phone went off again and he reached out a hand to hit it off the bedside table.
“Maybe you should get that…” I trailed off, hoping he would ignore me.
“Maybe…” I sighed and he reached down to the floor. He looked at the caller ID and flipped the phone open. “What? No… I don’t know… no… why? Does it have to be now?” I could hear a female voice screaming at him from the other side of the phone. “God! Ok! Fine… calm the hell down I’ll get him… Jesus!” He moved the phone away from his ear. “Babe, she might skin me alive I don’t give this to Consti… apparently he’s not answering her calls.” I mopped back, not bothering to hide my disappointment.
“Alright… but come back quick k?”
“I’ll just throw it at him… be right back!” He dashed off not bothering to put his shirt back on. I laughed at the scratch marks that were already forming on his shoulders.
I glanced around the room from my vantage point on his bed, smiling to myself at Mattie’s apparent change in demeanour, apparently making the team had been very good for his confidence. I sat up and looked around at the room, I wonder how different our relationship will be once we’re back in the real world. Real world relationships weren’t that great for me… I was 0 - 1 the last time I checked. At that thought I turned and looked to my left. Well that’s awkward… I lost my virginity with my boyfriend, under a poster of my ex… Suddenly I felt disgusted with myself. I hopped up and pulled the poster down, unceremoniously rolling it up and tossing it over with the rest of our things. I glanced around the room and decided I might as well take them all down.
I was rolling up the last poster when Mattie came back in. “Well,” he sighed exasperated, “he was not happy to get that call!” I laughed back, tossing the last poster with the rest.
“Oh… you took them down…” Mattie said slowly, glancing at the empty spot above his bed. “Why?”
“Well… we’re leaving today…”
“Oh yah… yah that’s right… you’re taking them home with you.” He nodded to himself and I froze. His eyes were still on the place where the poster above his bed use to be.
He knows!
No he doesn’t… that’s crazy. He has no reason to even think that was your ex-boyfriend.
He’d say something… for sure he would…
Right?
“Nope, tossin them out… I figure at the rate I’m going I’ll be an NHLer soon and it’d be bad for endorsements to have posters of the enemies on my wall.” I laughed, trying to mask the hysteria in my voice.
“You’re really throwing them out?”
“Yah…” I nodded, trying to make him feel foolish for asking that. “Geez Mattie, they’re just posters.”
“Yah… I just know how much you love your Pens.” He shrugged, licking his lips. I hopped off the bed and walked over to him, wrapping myself around him again.
“Yah I do… but nothing compared to how much I love you.” He smiled down at me, a smile that lit up his eyes, as wrapped his arms around me. He flopped back down onto the bed with me beneath him, and we continued where we left off.
I knew there was no way he could possibly know about my secret, but even so; I wanted to make sure he knew what I had just said was the truth.
I was positive I was over-reacting, but I couldn’t help is as I held onto him tighter, and kissed him with all the passion I had… just in case.
I had gotten almost no sleep the night before. Mattie and I had arrived back to the room around 5am, and were up three hours later to get ready for the final day of training camp. I was a bundle of nerves, holding Mattie’s hand firmly in mine, my forehead slumped onto the table. Carrol was still drunk and Marty was twitching his leg so bad it was moving the table. Consti was cool-as-a-cucumber, or so the expression goes, filling himself with a mound of food; in a room full of people to stressed to eat.
Mattie was subdued. He sat expressionless; one hand wrapped protectively around his stomach, the other still in my hand, was clammy and shaking slightly. It pained me to see him so upset, hopefully this would be over soon.
“We’ll do the individual awards first. Position, the extra awards and then the presentation of the championship trophies.” Dean explained, extending his arm to include the table of trophies set up behind him.
“First off. Over all best performance by a goalie, goes to… Adam Rennie!” I pulled my face off the table and clapped politely.
“No real surprise there…” I whispered to Mattie. Rennie shook Dean’s hand before carrying his trophy back down to his table.
“Over all best performance by a defenseman, goes to… Carter Vessey!” The giant 6’7” defenseman strutted up to the stage to get his award. Unsurprisingly Consti seemed nonchalant about the whole thing. I looked over at Mattie, he smiled weakly at me.
“Over all best performance by a forward, goes to… Carlie Simone!” I clapped my hands, continuing to look at Mattie.
Mattie looked back at me then started laughing, pushing me out of my seat. I looked around to see everyone looking at me. “Oh!” I blushed, heading up to the stage.
“Congratulations Carlie.” Dean said quietly as I shook his hand.
“Thanks Dean.” I smiled, carrying my trophy back to my seat.
Dean handed out a few more awards. Best play maker, went to Mattie; I embarrassed him by whistling when he went up for his award. Most Improved, went to my recent team-mate Aaron Turner. MVP went to Jake; and I was honoured with Most Points Scored Overall.
When it came time to hand out the final trophies, the training staff carted around some boxes of souvenir shirts to hand out to everyone that was left. I joined the rest of my team up on stage for the final award; the first place trophies. I couldn’t even bring myself to be excited anymore. I knew that the team cuts were about to be announced after this and that was the only thing left on my mind. As I stood on the stage beside Aaron, looking over the group of guys, I felt sick.
Luckily Dean was quick and I was able to return to my seat after just a few minutes. Now the real trouble started.
My friends and I sat in silence while Dean pinned up the single sheet of names on the back wall.
As De ja vu took over, Consti was the only one to get up and check. He strutted over to the wall, laughing as his finger traced down the names. He turned after a minute and marched back to where we were waiting.
“Picked number 7th over all… not too bad.” He smiled to himself before picking up his fork and continuing his breakfast.
“And…?” Carrol asked, leaning over the table.
“And what?”
“And were we on there?”
“Not all of you…” He sighed and looked up at Carrol. Carrol continued to stare at him; Consti shook his head, showing disappointment for the first time. “Carlie and Mattie made it… but...” he looked over at Marty, “you weren’t on there either man… sorry.” Marty nodded, staring down at his lap.
I was so excited I thought that my chest was about to burst open. Mattie was holding my hand under the table and squeezing it in quick pulses. We were both dying to celebrate but I could tell by the way he stayed at the table that these feelings would have to wait… right now Carrol and Marty needed us more.
Mattie and I were the last to leave the cafeteria. We sat quietly at our table, 4 awards shared between us, as we contently smiled at each other. Mattie tore his eyes from me and glanced around the room.
“We should probably head back now babe…” He said quietly, rubbing the back of his fingers along my cheek. I nodded and we both got up, grabbing our awards.
I hugged mine closely to my chest as we headed to the back of the room. We walked up to the list of names and read it over for ourselves.
My name was the first name on the list. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry. I continued reading; Mattie was right after me, followed by Jack. Aaron was further down the list, as were a few other names I recognized. I couldn’t keep my excitement in any longer; I had made Team USA, I was going to Russia to compete in a world-renown event, and best of all, Mattie was coming with me.
I felt hot tears rolling down my face as years of hardship and struggle washed over me in the form of vindication. Mattie saw the tears and spun me to the side so we were face to face. He looked concerned until I gave him a wide smile; he returned it then tossed his trophy over onto a nearby table, pulling mine out of my hands and tossing them too.
He pulled my up against him roughly and I was surprised by the force of his hands and mouth as he pressed his body against mine, but these thoughts didn’t last for long.
I smiled into the kiss as he deepened it bringing his tongue inside to find mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, winding my hands into his hair; insuring he couldn’t pull away.
With strength I was unfamiliar with he brought his hands down to the back of my thighs, lifting me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist and stifled a moan. He moved forward easily, until my back was pressed against the wall firmly. Brining his lips from mine, he moved down to my neck; one hand coming off of my thigh to explore the small of my back, moving up inside of my shirt. His hand worked it’s way under my bra so that his thumb was massaging my breast, causing my breathing to accelerate as I grabbed at his shoulders till my nails began to dig in through his t-shirt.
He started to lower me back to the ground, laughing at my groan of protest. His face was red and kissed me a few more times before pulling away.
“We should probably relocate this babe…” he trailed off in a husky voice. I watched his delicious lips as he spoke, sighing with the knowledge he was right.
“Fine, but we go now!” Mattie laughed at my exuberance and grabbed my hand, half-dragging me out of the cafeteria towards our dorm.
His phone buzzed half a dozen times as we dashed across the lawn and up the stairs. He threw open the door and shoved my roughly down on the bed before pulling off his shirt and climbing on top of me.
“Ok… stop everything! I’m gonna need some popcorn for this!” Consti quipped from his side of the room.
“If you don’t wanna see anything you should go cause I’m not stopping.” Mattie retorted.
Consti sat on the edge of his bed, “On second this, I don’t really wanna be here to watch Mattie fail at something besides hockey… I’ll be upstairs.” He dashed out of the room without a backwards glance.
Mattie’s phone went off again and he reached out a hand to hit it off the bedside table.
“Maybe you should get that…” I trailed off, hoping he would ignore me.
“Maybe…” I sighed and he reached down to the floor. He looked at the caller ID and flipped the phone open. “What? No… I don’t know… no… why? Does it have to be now?” I could hear a female voice screaming at him from the other side of the phone. “God! Ok! Fine… calm the hell down I’ll get him… Jesus!” He moved the phone away from his ear. “Babe, she might skin me alive I don’t give this to Consti… apparently he’s not answering her calls.” I mopped back, not bothering to hide my disappointment.
“Alright… but come back quick k?”
“I’ll just throw it at him… be right back!” He dashed off not bothering to put his shirt back on. I laughed at the scratch marks that were already forming on his shoulders.
I glanced around the room from my vantage point on his bed, smiling to myself at Mattie’s apparent change in demeanour, apparently making the team had been very good for his confidence. I sat up and looked around at the room, I wonder how different our relationship will be once we’re back in the real world. Real world relationships weren’t that great for me… I was 0 - 1 the last time I checked. At that thought I turned and looked to my left. Well that’s awkward… I lost my virginity with my boyfriend, under a poster of my ex… Suddenly I felt disgusted with myself. I hopped up and pulled the poster down, unceremoniously rolling it up and tossing it over with the rest of our things. I glanced around the room and decided I might as well take them all down.
I was rolling up the last poster when Mattie came back in. “Well,” he sighed exasperated, “he was not happy to get that call!” I laughed back, tossing the last poster with the rest.
“Oh… you took them down…” Mattie said slowly, glancing at the empty spot above his bed. “Why?”
“Well… we’re leaving today…”
“Oh yah… yah that’s right… you’re taking them home with you.” He nodded to himself and I froze. His eyes were still on the place where the poster above his bed use to be.
He knows!
No he doesn’t… that’s crazy. He has no reason to even think that was your ex-boyfriend.
He’d say something… for sure he would…
Right?
“Nope, tossin them out… I figure at the rate I’m going I’ll be an NHLer soon and it’d be bad for endorsements to have posters of the enemies on my wall.” I laughed, trying to mask the hysteria in my voice.
“You’re really throwing them out?”
“Yah…” I nodded, trying to make him feel foolish for asking that. “Geez Mattie, they’re just posters.”
“Yah… I just know how much you love your Pens.” He shrugged, licking his lips. I hopped off the bed and walked over to him, wrapping myself around him again.
“Yah I do… but nothing compared to how much I love you.” He smiled down at me, a smile that lit up his eyes, as wrapped his arms around me. He flopped back down onto the bed with me beneath him, and we continued where we left off.
I knew there was no way he could possibly know about my secret, but even so; I wanted to make sure he knew what I had just said was the truth.
I was positive I was over-reacting, but I couldn’t help is as I held onto him tighter, and kissed him with all the passion I had… just in case.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Chapter 16
I had no idea how I’d managed to fall asleep.
Mattie was sprawled out next to me, I could feel him sleeping soundly; I could hear Consti still snoring. My heart was pounding through my chest as I lay in bed, I knew that I’d never be able to stop the adrenaline that was no pumping through my system. I took a few deep breaths, trying to bring my heart-rate under control as I glanced over at the clock. 4:37AM, Well fuck…
I sighed and threw my legs over the side off the bed. I grabbed a pair of Pilates’ pants off the back of the computer chair and pulled my hair back into a pony-tail; moving as softly as I could manage. I took one last look at Consti and Mattie before slipping quietly out into the darkened hallway.
I jogged off towards the gym, taking the long way. I could still feel my heart pumping hard, more from nerves than the actual workout I was getting. I pushed my legs faster as I reached the gym, instead of going inside though I ran past it; there was no way it’d be open before 5 anyway.
I let my mind wander over the events of yesterday and what was to come today. Today was Saturday, the finals were to start tonight at 7pm. My team, team number one, would be playing against Jake’s team, team number 5.
As it stood, my team was the only team that hadn’t lost a game yet; and I wasn’t planning on starting tonight. Not only did the championship and upping the chances on making Team USA rest on the outcome of this game, but there were going to be scouts here tonight… NHL training camp scouts.
I tired not to let that bother me too much. I had played infront of scouts before. This time though, this time was going to be different. This time I actually had a reason to play my best, I was trying to get a spot on Team USA; if I managed that, who’s to say I wouldn’t get an invite to the NHL camp?
“You can do this… just remember to breath.” I wasn’t sure how Mattie had managed to sneak into the dressing room, but I wasn’t going to complain. “You haven’t lost with this team, ever, and the last time you played team 5 you crushed them. You can do it again.”
I sighed and looked around the room. Mattie and I were off in the corner; the rest of my team were sitting on the dressing room benches, preparing for the game of our lives. “I know, I know…” I replied quietly, trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to appease Mattie.
“Alright guys, we need to head out there…” Aaron called out after checking his watch.
“Guess that includes me… wish me luck.” I pulled Mattie into a hug.
“I would, but you don’t need it babe.” He smiled down at me and kissed me on the lips before leaving quickly through the side door. I let out another sigh, pull it together Carlie.
I skated out to centre ice to take the first faceoff, searching for Mattie’s face in the crowd. I found him, next to Marty and the rest of the guys, sitting behind our net. He gave me a weak smile and I grimaced back. I had never been more nervous for a game ever, I knew my only chance at not allowing my fear to cripple me was to try and play this game like it was any other.
The bodies were thick in front of the net. My skates, sped by adrenaline, turned quickly and sliced down the middle of the ice. I turned away fast, nearly stumbling over the stick of a defenseman before taking the puck on my stick and charging back towards the main group. A slap shot fell short and I hurtled around to try and stop the puck. Someone sent the puck back up to our end; I pushed off after it. I grabbed it behind my team’s net, and sped back down the ice towards the other net.
A stick caught me on my shin and I skidded down onto my knees, never loosing control of the puck. The defence came up hard; but I was faster. From my knees I sent the puck spiralling into the five-hole, goal one.
A twist, a feign, a turn, then a second had the defence turning ever-which-way as I boar down on the goalies unprotected left side; goal two sent his water bottle flying.
Rushing out to the goalies left, turning right to slash across the crease at Aaron. He sent the puck spinning into the cross-bar. A forward grabbed the puck and took it back off to our end. I pursued him, catching up to him easily. The other teams defence tried to slow me as I brought the puck out of my end. I saw the guy, his eyes locked on me. Within a second I sent the puck off the ice and leaped up and forward; hitting him with my shoulder, squarely in the chest. We both fell but it didn’t matter. Aaron found a weak spot above the goalies blocker; goal three.
The third period was a done deal. We were winning 3-0 with 2 minutes left in the game.
A flip of my wrist; a reverse slap shot; my hat-trick took the game to 4-0.
My team-mates and I partied long into the night. It was an exhausting win, but a great win none-the-less. I couldn’t believe that we had dominated the play so bad; couldn’t believe that we had managed to shut Jack down. Jack had been my main competition at the camp, a fact we both knew. He was a great player and I could still hardly believe that we were able to win the championship so easily.
“I need to pack Carlie, tomorrow’s the last day and we’re suppose to take our luggage down with us…” Mattie was behind me, talking in my ear, trying to be heard over the loud music that was surrounding us. I glanced over at the clock on the wall.
“Oh! Sorry Mattie I didn’t realize it was after 3!” I laughed at how quickly the time had flown since the end of the game. I grabbed his hand and moved towards the door of the rec room.
“No! No, you stay here, I can throw your stuff in.”
“Mattie, you don’t have to pack for me.”
“Babe, you just won the championship… with a hat-trick.” He laughed and shook his head, “You stay here and celebrate I’ll throw your stuff in your suitcase too.” He silenced my protest by covering my mouth with his hand. “It’ll take ten minutes and then I’ll come right back… promise.” He removed his hand and gave me a quick kiss before heading off down the hall.
I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself on the way down to our room. If anyone had had any doubts left about Carlie they were gone after her performance tonight. Not only had she dominated the game and won it; she had done so with a hat-trick and an assist. On top of that I was feeling pretty smug myself. After having a quick chat with some of the training staff I was confident I’d be heading to Russia myself.
I threw open our door and laughed at the mess. It really hadn’t looked this bad this morning… at least, I didn’t think it did.
I grabbed all of Constis’ stuff off his bed and packed it into his bag for him. My stuff was all in the corner so I grabbed it and pilled it back into my suitcase. I looked back around the room at Carlie’s stuff and laughed again. How could someone so small make such a huge mess? I sighed and started shoving stuff back into her bag.
After a few minutes I looked around the room; it was all clear. I pilled the suitcase up in the corner for tomorrow morning. I also took the liberty of grabbing some pop cans and chip bags off the floor and putting them in the garbage. A last look around the room and I spotted a few more pieces of garbage on the floor. I sighed and started picking them up too. I glanced them over before throwing them in the garbage. Schedule, movie stub, another schedule, receipt… the last small piece of paper caught my attention. I was a small square of cardstock; I turned it over in my hands.
Carlie, was just thinking about you. Wanted to say good luck and I can’t wait to see you in Russia… Always yours,
I stopped reading and turned the card over in my hands twice more before reading it again. Just thinking about you… maybe he was just having a conversation with someone about the only girl to be invited to try out for Team USA… yah… that’s probably it.
Wanted to say good luck… that’s pretty innocent. Can’t wait to see you in Russia… maybe he likes Russia? Maybe he’s going there with friends to watch the game? Always yours… ummm… standard goodbye? Sure, why not…
I read the name again, it sounded familiar but I had never heard Carlie mention him; hell, she’d never mentioned anyone to us… ever. God, that sounds familiar though…
I held the card out in front me, looking up in thought. One of the random posters plastered on the walls caught my attention and I read the name again. “No fucking way…”
I flopped down on the bed, still holding the card in my hands. I couldn’t take my eyes off the poster and I continued to hold the card. “No fucking way…” I said again, trying to deny the obvious. She would have mentioned if she dated a pro hockey player… Ugh! He’s above my bed… our bed…
“No,” I shook my head, still staring at his face. “No… there’s lots of people out there with that name… shit! Who am I kidding. No there’s not. What the fuck?!” I threw the tiny card into the garbage.
Okay, it’s okay. Carlie would have mentioned this if it was a big deal. She’d never, never do anything to hurt me so I have nothing to worry about.
Well… a pro hockey player is sending my girlfriend cards… but no biggie, she’s with me and I trust her.
How could she have forgotten to mention this to us? To me?
Hmmm… think… did she ever say anything about this? No… this I would have remembered.
Come on Mattie… think… ’By the way, one of the penguins likes me…?’ No… can’t say that happened. I looked up at his smug smile again. Fuck!
Oh shit… the seats! She said she won a contest for Pen season tickets right behind the bench. Ugh! There was no contest… he probably gave them to her… oh shit…
Well that doesn’t matter, she’s with me. If she wanted to be with him she would be and she’s not so… no big deal.
If it WAS a big deal she would have put this in a safe place to save it, not disregarded it like that… yah… she didn’t care about him.
Why didn’t she tell me though?!
Cause if she told me I’d freak out.
And she doesn’t like him so… there’s no reason for me to freak out…
Unless she’s trying to hide the fact that she likes him too.
FUCK!
No… that’s not true she doesn’t like him, I have to trust her. Without trust in a relationship what do you have?
If she didn’t want to tell me she has her reasons and I need to have faith in her.
I pushed myself off the bed and headed out of the room, stopping before I opened the door. I turned back around to see the Pittsburgh Penguin forward smiling at me from across the room. “Get your own fucking girlfriend!” I spat before I walked into the hallway, slamming the door behind me.
Mattie was sprawled out next to me, I could feel him sleeping soundly; I could hear Consti still snoring. My heart was pounding through my chest as I lay in bed, I knew that I’d never be able to stop the adrenaline that was no pumping through my system. I took a few deep breaths, trying to bring my heart-rate under control as I glanced over at the clock. 4:37AM, Well fuck…
I sighed and threw my legs over the side off the bed. I grabbed a pair of Pilates’ pants off the back of the computer chair and pulled my hair back into a pony-tail; moving as softly as I could manage. I took one last look at Consti and Mattie before slipping quietly out into the darkened hallway.
I jogged off towards the gym, taking the long way. I could still feel my heart pumping hard, more from nerves than the actual workout I was getting. I pushed my legs faster as I reached the gym, instead of going inside though I ran past it; there was no way it’d be open before 5 anyway.
I let my mind wander over the events of yesterday and what was to come today. Today was Saturday, the finals were to start tonight at 7pm. My team, team number one, would be playing against Jake’s team, team number 5.
As it stood, my team was the only team that hadn’t lost a game yet; and I wasn’t planning on starting tonight. Not only did the championship and upping the chances on making Team USA rest on the outcome of this game, but there were going to be scouts here tonight… NHL training camp scouts.
I tired not to let that bother me too much. I had played infront of scouts before. This time though, this time was going to be different. This time I actually had a reason to play my best, I was trying to get a spot on Team USA; if I managed that, who’s to say I wouldn’t get an invite to the NHL camp?
“You can do this… just remember to breath.” I wasn’t sure how Mattie had managed to sneak into the dressing room, but I wasn’t going to complain. “You haven’t lost with this team, ever, and the last time you played team 5 you crushed them. You can do it again.”
I sighed and looked around the room. Mattie and I were off in the corner; the rest of my team were sitting on the dressing room benches, preparing for the game of our lives. “I know, I know…” I replied quietly, trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to appease Mattie.
“Alright guys, we need to head out there…” Aaron called out after checking his watch.
“Guess that includes me… wish me luck.” I pulled Mattie into a hug.
“I would, but you don’t need it babe.” He smiled down at me and kissed me on the lips before leaving quickly through the side door. I let out another sigh, pull it together Carlie.
I skated out to centre ice to take the first faceoff, searching for Mattie’s face in the crowd. I found him, next to Marty and the rest of the guys, sitting behind our net. He gave me a weak smile and I grimaced back. I had never been more nervous for a game ever, I knew my only chance at not allowing my fear to cripple me was to try and play this game like it was any other.
The bodies were thick in front of the net. My skates, sped by adrenaline, turned quickly and sliced down the middle of the ice. I turned away fast, nearly stumbling over the stick of a defenseman before taking the puck on my stick and charging back towards the main group. A slap shot fell short and I hurtled around to try and stop the puck. Someone sent the puck back up to our end; I pushed off after it. I grabbed it behind my team’s net, and sped back down the ice towards the other net.
A stick caught me on my shin and I skidded down onto my knees, never loosing control of the puck. The defence came up hard; but I was faster. From my knees I sent the puck spiralling into the five-hole, goal one.
A twist, a feign, a turn, then a second had the defence turning ever-which-way as I boar down on the goalies unprotected left side; goal two sent his water bottle flying.
Rushing out to the goalies left, turning right to slash across the crease at Aaron. He sent the puck spinning into the cross-bar. A forward grabbed the puck and took it back off to our end. I pursued him, catching up to him easily. The other teams defence tried to slow me as I brought the puck out of my end. I saw the guy, his eyes locked on me. Within a second I sent the puck off the ice and leaped up and forward; hitting him with my shoulder, squarely in the chest. We both fell but it didn’t matter. Aaron found a weak spot above the goalies blocker; goal three.
The third period was a done deal. We were winning 3-0 with 2 minutes left in the game.
A flip of my wrist; a reverse slap shot; my hat-trick took the game to 4-0.
My team-mates and I partied long into the night. It was an exhausting win, but a great win none-the-less. I couldn’t believe that we had dominated the play so bad; couldn’t believe that we had managed to shut Jack down. Jack had been my main competition at the camp, a fact we both knew. He was a great player and I could still hardly believe that we were able to win the championship so easily.
“I need to pack Carlie, tomorrow’s the last day and we’re suppose to take our luggage down with us…” Mattie was behind me, talking in my ear, trying to be heard over the loud music that was surrounding us. I glanced over at the clock on the wall.
“Oh! Sorry Mattie I didn’t realize it was after 3!” I laughed at how quickly the time had flown since the end of the game. I grabbed his hand and moved towards the door of the rec room.
“No! No, you stay here, I can throw your stuff in.”
“Mattie, you don’t have to pack for me.”
“Babe, you just won the championship… with a hat-trick.” He laughed and shook his head, “You stay here and celebrate I’ll throw your stuff in your suitcase too.” He silenced my protest by covering my mouth with his hand. “It’ll take ten minutes and then I’ll come right back… promise.” He removed his hand and gave me a quick kiss before heading off down the hall.
Mattie’s POV
I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself on the way down to our room. If anyone had had any doubts left about Carlie they were gone after her performance tonight. Not only had she dominated the game and won it; she had done so with a hat-trick and an assist. On top of that I was feeling pretty smug myself. After having a quick chat with some of the training staff I was confident I’d be heading to Russia myself.
I threw open our door and laughed at the mess. It really hadn’t looked this bad this morning… at least, I didn’t think it did.
I grabbed all of Constis’ stuff off his bed and packed it into his bag for him. My stuff was all in the corner so I grabbed it and pilled it back into my suitcase. I looked back around the room at Carlie’s stuff and laughed again. How could someone so small make such a huge mess? I sighed and started shoving stuff back into her bag.
After a few minutes I looked around the room; it was all clear. I pilled the suitcase up in the corner for tomorrow morning. I also took the liberty of grabbing some pop cans and chip bags off the floor and putting them in the garbage. A last look around the room and I spotted a few more pieces of garbage on the floor. I sighed and started picking them up too. I glanced them over before throwing them in the garbage. Schedule, movie stub, another schedule, receipt… the last small piece of paper caught my attention. I was a small square of cardstock; I turned it over in my hands.
Carlie, was just thinking about you. Wanted to say good luck and I can’t wait to see you in Russia… Always yours,
I stopped reading and turned the card over in my hands twice more before reading it again. Just thinking about you… maybe he was just having a conversation with someone about the only girl to be invited to try out for Team USA… yah… that’s probably it.
Wanted to say good luck… that’s pretty innocent. Can’t wait to see you in Russia… maybe he likes Russia? Maybe he’s going there with friends to watch the game? Always yours… ummm… standard goodbye? Sure, why not…
I read the name again, it sounded familiar but I had never heard Carlie mention him; hell, she’d never mentioned anyone to us… ever. God, that sounds familiar though…
I held the card out in front me, looking up in thought. One of the random posters plastered on the walls caught my attention and I read the name again. “No fucking way…”
I flopped down on the bed, still holding the card in my hands. I couldn’t take my eyes off the poster and I continued to hold the card. “No fucking way…” I said again, trying to deny the obvious. She would have mentioned if she dated a pro hockey player… Ugh! He’s above my bed… our bed…
“No,” I shook my head, still staring at his face. “No… there’s lots of people out there with that name… shit! Who am I kidding. No there’s not. What the fuck?!” I threw the tiny card into the garbage.
Okay, it’s okay. Carlie would have mentioned this if it was a big deal. She’d never, never do anything to hurt me so I have nothing to worry about.
Well… a pro hockey player is sending my girlfriend cards… but no biggie, she’s with me and I trust her.
How could she have forgotten to mention this to us? To me?
Hmmm… think… did she ever say anything about this? No… this I would have remembered.
Come on Mattie… think… ’By the way, one of the penguins likes me…?’ No… can’t say that happened. I looked up at his smug smile again. Fuck!
Oh shit… the seats! She said she won a contest for Pen season tickets right behind the bench. Ugh! There was no contest… he probably gave them to her… oh shit…
Well that doesn’t matter, she’s with me. If she wanted to be with him she would be and she’s not so… no big deal.
If it WAS a big deal she would have put this in a safe place to save it, not disregarded it like that… yah… she didn’t care about him.
Why didn’t she tell me though?!
Cause if she told me I’d freak out.
And she doesn’t like him so… there’s no reason for me to freak out…
Unless she’s trying to hide the fact that she likes him too.
FUCK!
No… that’s not true she doesn’t like him, I have to trust her. Without trust in a relationship what do you have?
If she didn’t want to tell me she has her reasons and I need to have faith in her.
I pushed myself off the bed and headed out of the room, stopping before I opened the door. I turned back around to see the Pittsburgh Penguin forward smiling at me from across the room. “Get your own fucking girlfriend!” I spat before I walked into the hallway, slamming the door behind me.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Chapter 15
As I made my way out the back doors of the rink I exchanged a few high-fives, fist bumps and quick hugs with my fellow teams mates. We had won our game, 2-1, against Jake's team and were now guaranteed a spot in the semi finals. As incredible as the high from our win felt, I knew I didn't have time to truly enjoy it. Mattie's game would be starting soon, but that thought was only second in my mind right now; I had a more pressing issue.
Even though my phone call had confirmed our meeting, my heart still did a flip flop as pushed the back doors opened and stepped out into the warm evening air.
He was there, just as he had promised; this caught me off guard even though it shouldn't, he had -after all- never broken a promise to me before.
He was sitting with his back to me on the edge of the loading dock, his post-season due was cropped short under his 'Pirates' hat, which he had on backwards. The doors banged loudly behind me, causing me to jump; he never looked up. I cautiously walked over to him, cursing myself for calling him in the first place. He never looked up as he said, "You play well today." His thick accent caught me off guard: had it always been that noticeable, or had it just been too long since we'd talked in person.
"Thanks." I said, clearing my voice afterwards, already the emotion was thick in my voice. Hearing him and seeing him this close again was causing a storm of guilt to tug at me, threatening to pull me under.
"I surprise you ask to see me." He stood up and turned to face me. He was wearing a blue-plaid fitted shirt, the very shirt that I had bought for him on his birthday, he had his hands carefully tucked into his front pockets. "I glad you call."
"Well, I did... I mean... I do want to talk to you in person, I meant... back home in Pittsburgh though..."
He chuckled and took another step towards me, "I coming here... anyway..." He pulled his hands out his pocket and held them towards me, taking another step forward.
"Don't!" I cried holding me hands up in front of me. He turned a light shade of pink and rocked back on his heels, looking hurt. I instantly felt bad for raising my voice, after all this was my fault and not the other way around. It seemed like no matter what I did I was always hurting him. I sighed a tried to compose myself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you came all this way but I can't do this... I have a boyfriend." The word felt foreign on my lips in the present company, and it also brought over a new wave of guilt, Mattie was probably wondering where I was.
He took another step back and exhaled. "You embarrass of him? Like you embarrass of me?"
"I was never embarrassed of you..." I replied quietly, taking a step forward.
"You no let me touch you, you no let me kiss you. You not even meet team-mates... not even call me boyfriend." His eyes began to rim with tears as he suddenly turned his back on me. "I love you Carlie... First time we meet I know you no like other girls... I want you." We stood like that for a few minutes, both trying to get a better handle on our emotions. He turned around finally, his eyes holding mine "You love me too, you know? You have boyfriend now, but you love me. Say it."
I no longer had any idea what to say, I figured the truth was my best option; no matter what I said someone was going to get hurt. "I do... I do love you. I'm sorry, but that doesn't change anything. I'm with Mattie now, and I can't just leave him... I love him too." Until this exact moment I didn't even realize that it was possible to love more than one person at once. I had always mulled the idea over in my head, whether or not I loved him, but it seemed so strange and so forbidden at the time. I knew I could never allow it to happen, but seeing him here and feeling all the things that that meant for me, I knew I couldn't deny it any longer, the truth at least.
When I looked back up at him he was smiling. "I know. You with him now but... you with me soon." He took another timid step towards me, "Carlie, I come... to tell you... I not mad, anymore. I know why you leave... I know."
It was hard for me to even hear what he was saying any longer. Knowing for sure that he didn't hate me, that he finally understood why I need to do this without him, it was like nothing else mattered.
"I think - before - is cause of things I do... in past. Now I know truth. You need to get here alone, but you love me."
I nodded my head, I didn't like that fact that he was still in so much pain, but I was relieved that he knew it wasn't because of his short-comings; it was because of mine. "I wish things could have been different for us, I'm sorry that I hurt you... I never wanted that to happen. I always thought you'd just move on to something better..."
"Is no better to me." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "I wait. This why I send flowers. Once you get in, you come back to me."
"I don't know if that's-"
"I not here to guilt. Just to say, I know I love you more than him. We are good togeteher."
"I'm glad you came." And I was. Looking up at him now I could remember how easy it was to be around him. He was the first person I had ever really trusted, ever really let in. He had made me feel special but he had also respected who I was and what I wanted out of life.
Before I knew what was happening he had closed the gap between us in two long strides, I didn't even have time to protest as he wrapped his long arms around my waiste and pulled me in close. He brought his head down and kissed the top of my head, pulling me in harder against his body. I hugged him back.
After a few minutes I pulled away, "I really have to get back, the other game probably started already..."
"You stay in touch? Please?"
"Of course."
He nodded and gave me a smile. "I love you. I see you in Russia."
"Bye... I'll write you, I promise." He smiled and turned away, heading off into the parking lot as I turned and headed for the door.
I hadn't realized how long I'd been outside when I got back into the rink. The boys were just coming back on the ice for the second period and I could see Mattie glancing around the rink. I jogged down the steps up to the glass, and banged on it. Mattie looked over and saw me. He gave me a huge smile and a wave before heading over to centre ice. The game was 0-0 for the time being, and I decided to go find a seat behind Mattie's bench.
I walked quickly around the rink, and then bolted up the stairs where I found Marty sitting with an empty seat beside him. "Where have you been?" He asked before I had even sat down.
"Sorry, something came up, how's he been playing?"
"Alright, his defence sucks though so... they're having a hard time keeping the puck away. Constis' doing awesome and Carrol is... well he's out there anyway. Not his best performance." I looked over on the ice to where Carrol was, his head was all but hanging and he looked throuoghly downcasted.
"That's too bad..." I sighed, as the puck dropped.
The final score was 3-1 for Team 4 (Consti and Carrol's team), with that win it had been decided that my team and team 4 would get free passes to the semies. Mattie had gotten the only goal for his team, on a break-away, and I couldn't be more happy. This meant that tomorrow, Tuesday, we would all have a free day to train or relax as we saw fit and then the games would start on Wednesday.
Wednesday morning Jake's team was going to be playing against Marty's team, the winner of which would play Consti's team in the semies. Like wise, that evening, Mattie's team would be playing against 'Renny's team (Team 6); the winner would play my team in the semies.
I waited around the rink for Mattie to get out so we could walk back to the dorm together. My 'back door' conversation, as I was refering to it, was safely locked away in the back of my mind. I knew that whatever happened I couldn't worry about that now... it wasn't fair to myself to get worked up over anything when I needed to focus on hockey, and most of all it wasn't fair to get worked up over another boy when I had a great boyfriend already.
I saw Mattie coming out of the dressing rooms before he saw me, and I couldn't help but smile at the smile on his face. He was so proud of himself. Mattie rarely got break aways, he was much more of a 'sniper' type player, prefering to sit in wait... when he has good people around him, he rarely missed.
He finally saw me and made a B-line to where I was standing, pulling me into a big hug and planting a kiss on my lips.
"Well somebody's in a good mood!" I smiled up at him, pulling him closer for another kiss.
"How could I not be... I got a hot girlfriend, and I'm pretty sure that I'm the best hockey player ever." I couldn't help but laugh at how sincer he sounded.
"Alright superstar, let's go to bed... big day in the gym tomorrow!" I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him behind me outside.
"Superstars don't need the gym... this is pure natural talent right here!" I punched him in the gut and laughed as he chased me back up to the dorms.
It was hard for me to get to sleep that night. It felt like so many things had happened all at once. I was so unsure of what I should be doing anymore. I felt bad, but I wasn't even sure who I felt bad for... had I cheated on Mattie, or was cheating all physical? I had told someone else that I loved them, but I had also said I loved Mattie... did it cancell out? Ugh! Why was everything so complicated...
Even though my phone call had confirmed our meeting, my heart still did a flip flop as pushed the back doors opened and stepped out into the warm evening air.
He was there, just as he had promised; this caught me off guard even though it shouldn't, he had -after all- never broken a promise to me before.
He was sitting with his back to me on the edge of the loading dock, his post-season due was cropped short under his 'Pirates' hat, which he had on backwards. The doors banged loudly behind me, causing me to jump; he never looked up. I cautiously walked over to him, cursing myself for calling him in the first place. He never looked up as he said, "You play well today." His thick accent caught me off guard: had it always been that noticeable, or had it just been too long since we'd talked in person.
"Thanks." I said, clearing my voice afterwards, already the emotion was thick in my voice. Hearing him and seeing him this close again was causing a storm of guilt to tug at me, threatening to pull me under.
"I surprise you ask to see me." He stood up and turned to face me. He was wearing a blue-plaid fitted shirt, the very shirt that I had bought for him on his birthday, he had his hands carefully tucked into his front pockets. "I glad you call."
"Well, I did... I mean... I do want to talk to you in person, I meant... back home in Pittsburgh though..."
He chuckled and took another step towards me, "I coming here... anyway..." He pulled his hands out his pocket and held them towards me, taking another step forward.
"Don't!" I cried holding me hands up in front of me. He turned a light shade of pink and rocked back on his heels, looking hurt. I instantly felt bad for raising my voice, after all this was my fault and not the other way around. It seemed like no matter what I did I was always hurting him. I sighed a tried to compose myself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you came all this way but I can't do this... I have a boyfriend." The word felt foreign on my lips in the present company, and it also brought over a new wave of guilt, Mattie was probably wondering where I was.
He took another step back and exhaled. "You embarrass of him? Like you embarrass of me?"
"I was never embarrassed of you..." I replied quietly, taking a step forward.
"You no let me touch you, you no let me kiss you. You not even meet team-mates... not even call me boyfriend." His eyes began to rim with tears as he suddenly turned his back on me. "I love you Carlie... First time we meet I know you no like other girls... I want you." We stood like that for a few minutes, both trying to get a better handle on our emotions. He turned around finally, his eyes holding mine "You love me too, you know? You have boyfriend now, but you love me. Say it."
I no longer had any idea what to say, I figured the truth was my best option; no matter what I said someone was going to get hurt. "I do... I do love you. I'm sorry, but that doesn't change anything. I'm with Mattie now, and I can't just leave him... I love him too." Until this exact moment I didn't even realize that it was possible to love more than one person at once. I had always mulled the idea over in my head, whether or not I loved him, but it seemed so strange and so forbidden at the time. I knew I could never allow it to happen, but seeing him here and feeling all the things that that meant for me, I knew I couldn't deny it any longer, the truth at least.
When I looked back up at him he was smiling. "I know. You with him now but... you with me soon." He took another timid step towards me, "Carlie, I come... to tell you... I not mad, anymore. I know why you leave... I know."
It was hard for me to even hear what he was saying any longer. Knowing for sure that he didn't hate me, that he finally understood why I need to do this without him, it was like nothing else mattered.
"I think - before - is cause of things I do... in past. Now I know truth. You need to get here alone, but you love me."
I nodded my head, I didn't like that fact that he was still in so much pain, but I was relieved that he knew it wasn't because of his short-comings; it was because of mine. "I wish things could have been different for us, I'm sorry that I hurt you... I never wanted that to happen. I always thought you'd just move on to something better..."
"Is no better to me." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "I wait. This why I send flowers. Once you get in, you come back to me."
"I don't know if that's-"
"I not here to guilt. Just to say, I know I love you more than him. We are good togeteher."
"I'm glad you came." And I was. Looking up at him now I could remember how easy it was to be around him. He was the first person I had ever really trusted, ever really let in. He had made me feel special but he had also respected who I was and what I wanted out of life.
Before I knew what was happening he had closed the gap between us in two long strides, I didn't even have time to protest as he wrapped his long arms around my waiste and pulled me in close. He brought his head down and kissed the top of my head, pulling me in harder against his body. I hugged him back.
After a few minutes I pulled away, "I really have to get back, the other game probably started already..."
"You stay in touch? Please?"
"Of course."
He nodded and gave me a smile. "I love you. I see you in Russia."
"Bye... I'll write you, I promise." He smiled and turned away, heading off into the parking lot as I turned and headed for the door.
I hadn't realized how long I'd been outside when I got back into the rink. The boys were just coming back on the ice for the second period and I could see Mattie glancing around the rink. I jogged down the steps up to the glass, and banged on it. Mattie looked over and saw me. He gave me a huge smile and a wave before heading over to centre ice. The game was 0-0 for the time being, and I decided to go find a seat behind Mattie's bench.
I walked quickly around the rink, and then bolted up the stairs where I found Marty sitting with an empty seat beside him. "Where have you been?" He asked before I had even sat down.
"Sorry, something came up, how's he been playing?"
"Alright, his defence sucks though so... they're having a hard time keeping the puck away. Constis' doing awesome and Carrol is... well he's out there anyway. Not his best performance." I looked over on the ice to where Carrol was, his head was all but hanging and he looked throuoghly downcasted.
"That's too bad..." I sighed, as the puck dropped.
The final score was 3-1 for Team 4 (Consti and Carrol's team), with that win it had been decided that my team and team 4 would get free passes to the semies. Mattie had gotten the only goal for his team, on a break-away, and I couldn't be more happy. This meant that tomorrow, Tuesday, we would all have a free day to train or relax as we saw fit and then the games would start on Wednesday.
Wednesday morning Jake's team was going to be playing against Marty's team, the winner of which would play Consti's team in the semies. Like wise, that evening, Mattie's team would be playing against 'Renny's team (Team 6); the winner would play my team in the semies.
I waited around the rink for Mattie to get out so we could walk back to the dorm together. My 'back door' conversation, as I was refering to it, was safely locked away in the back of my mind. I knew that whatever happened I couldn't worry about that now... it wasn't fair to myself to get worked up over anything when I needed to focus on hockey, and most of all it wasn't fair to get worked up over another boy when I had a great boyfriend already.
I saw Mattie coming out of the dressing rooms before he saw me, and I couldn't help but smile at the smile on his face. He was so proud of himself. Mattie rarely got break aways, he was much more of a 'sniper' type player, prefering to sit in wait... when he has good people around him, he rarely missed.
He finally saw me and made a B-line to where I was standing, pulling me into a big hug and planting a kiss on my lips.
"Well somebody's in a good mood!" I smiled up at him, pulling him closer for another kiss.
"How could I not be... I got a hot girlfriend, and I'm pretty sure that I'm the best hockey player ever." I couldn't help but laugh at how sincer he sounded.
"Alright superstar, let's go to bed... big day in the gym tomorrow!" I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him behind me outside.
"Superstars don't need the gym... this is pure natural talent right here!" I punched him in the gut and laughed as he chased me back up to the dorms.
It was hard for me to get to sleep that night. It felt like so many things had happened all at once. I was so unsure of what I should be doing anymore. I felt bad, but I wasn't even sure who I felt bad for... had I cheated on Mattie, or was cheating all physical? I had told someone else that I loved them, but I had also said I loved Mattie... did it cancell out? Ugh! Why was everything so complicated...
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Chapter 14
We had all been fairly evenly divided. I was on team 1, Mattie on team 2 and Marty on team 3. Consti and Carrol ended up together on 4, while Jake was on 5. Team 6 had no one of real notice, other then an insane goalie by the of 'Renny', who was almost impossible to score on... almost.
As our schedules informed us, Sunday and Monday would be spent in exhibition games. We would play anywhere from two to four games, the first two teams to win two games got a pass to the semi-finals. We had tuesdays off to work with our teams, and then Wednesday and Thursday would be the semis. Friday we were off again before the finals, which would take place Saturday night.
I was excited to play again but I was also having a hard time shaking the feeling I got everytime I thought of playing against Mattie. I, of course, had been playing against him lots in the past week, but we were being judged individually then; his team loseing to mine or vise, hadn't had as big of an impact as it would have this week.
Sitting next to him now in the rec room, his arm flung carelessly around my shoulders, most people wouldn't be able to pick up on his edgy-ness. I was not most people. The thought of watching him lose made me upset, but I wasn't a fan of loseing either; nor were Consti, Carrol and Marty who would also be playing each other tomorrow.
"I'm tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed, you staying here?" I said quietly, leaning in to him.
"Yah for another minute maybe, I'll be there soon though alright?" I nodded, kissing him goodbye before I left. I made my way down the hall to our room, it was strange how much less noise there was in the dorms now. There were still way too many teenaged boys for it to be considered quiet, but it was almost errie after the weeks before.
When I got to our room I flopped down on the bed; Consti was already lying on his, flipping through a sports illustrated. "You worried about tomorrow?" I asked, searching for my PJs
"Nope." he answered, never taking his eyes from the pages.
"You're playing Marty tomorrow, aren't worried at all?"
"Nope."
I let out a deep sigh before grabbing my PJs and heading into the bathroom. When I came out Consti was watching me, with a big smile on his face. "What?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him.
"What's got you so wound up tonight?" He asked, tossing his magazine aside while he continued to look at me.
"You're playing your best friend tomorrow, and you're not even worried at all about the outcome?"
"Nope," he laughed, "I know the outcome, I'm gonna beat his team, and try to get him to fight me if I can... if he won't, I'm just gonna put him on his ass a bunch." He replied so matter-of-factly it was hard to tell if he was being serious.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No, I just think you're being stupid. Mattie's a good player and he's not gonna be pissed if you beat him. It's probably not even gonna make him look bad if you beat him. Mattie's awesome, he'll make Team USA and he'll do it even after he looses to you."
"You don't think he'll hate me, if I win?"
He gave a loud laugh before talking again. "Are you gonna hate him if he wins?" I shook my head, "And, will you break up with him if he scores on you?" I continued to shake my head. "Carlie, if anything, he'll be pissed if you let him score on you... it'd de-man him, and let's face it... Mattie ain't got a whole lotta man as it is." I stared at him incredulity, and he just laughed harder. I began to smile as I watched him tear-up from his own joke. Mattie pushed open to door a second later, stopping short as he looked over at Consti. His sudden appearance had forced Consti into even more histarics and I couldn't help but laugh along; Mattie just shook his head as he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Consti was snoring before I had even got comfortable. I finally found my nook, nestled in against Mattie, my head on his chest. He was lying on his back with one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around me, coming to rest on the small of my back. "Carlie?" He whispered, his lips brushing the tope of my head.
"Mmmhmmm..." I replied, feeling exhaustion beginning to overwhelm me.
"I'll love you, no matter what happens this week, I just want you to know that. Obviously I'd love to make it onto the team with you, but I'll be proud of you... no matter what. You know that right?"
"I know." I sighed, surpressing the following 'now' that was on my lips. "And the same goes for you... I'm sad I can't play with you now though..."
"We can play together in Russia." He replied in a husky voice, his fingers beginning to run up and down my spine. "We can even do some hockey if you want..." I laughed as I rolled on top of him and brushed my lips across his.
"Who likes hockey anyway?"
There was a few minutes left in the game against Mattie's team, we were up 6-2. The score was surprising to say the least, my team was actually fairly awful. Aaron had two goals and I had four, plus an assist. The rest of the team seemed to be sitting around waiting for me to do something; I thought it was impart to the brand-new 'C' that was now attatched to my jersey. It was beginning to feel more like a curse than anything, just as I'm sure Aaron was no longer thrilled about his 'A' as he had been that morning. It was fun to be winning, but team victories were always much more satisfactory than personal wins... this one was, unfortunitly, a two man effort.
I was happy that Mattie was doing great though. He had one goal and one assist but he was playing very agressive, something he didn't do nearly enough; it was paying off. It was nice to see that he had also been named an alternate captain for his team, he was definetly the best out there.
By the time the final buzzer sounded the score hadn't changed. I made my way to the locker room and showered quickly, changing into some casual clothing before heading out into the main hall. Mattie was waiting for me, all smiles, as I approached. "Good game babe." He said, pulling me into a warm hug and kissing me. I smiled back at him.
"If I knew you took an ass whoppin this good, I'd do it more often!" He laughed and took my hand, leading me out into the cool night air.
"Not so much the loss it's self, but I think I did pretty good tonight... and by the way babe... you're team kind of sucks!"
"Ugh! I know! Why bother telling me again?"
"Just thought you might like to know, I mean, as Captain and everything..." He started to laugh and I playfully punched him in the arm.
"I wonder who we play tomorrow..." I thought out loud as we continued walking towards the dorm.
"Um, don't quote me on this but I think you're gonna be playing Jake... I'm playing Consti and Carrol!! That should be... interesting..."
Once we were inside the dorm Mattie left to find Marty, promising to only be a minute, as I continued to make my way down to our room. I opened the door to a smell that caught me off guard. Not that our room smelled too bad, we left our gear at the rink afterall, but I didn't wear perfume and I was fairly sure that Mattie and Consti weren't into flower scents.
I flicked on the lights and saw a bouquet of flowers on the computer desk with a small note attached. I approached the desk cautiously, the sunflowers and gerber babies looked friendly enough, but their appearance was a little strange. Oh... Mattie! I laughed suddenly wondering why I hadn't thought of it sooner, where did he get time to get me flowers? I pulled the card off the holder and tore open the note.
Carlie, was just thinking about you. Wanted to say good luck and I can't wait to see you in Russia...
The signature on the bottom of the card was not Matties. I hastly shoved the small card into my back pocket and began to freak out. Oh my god... oh my god... oh my god... I had to get rid of them. Why? It's not like I'm hiding anything... Why would he send me flowers... Okay. Calm down. You're over reacting. He was just wishing you good luck is all... Mattie would believe that right... I let out a groan. No guy would be ok with another guy sending his girlfriend flowers and then basically promising to see them somewhere.
I didn't have much time, Mattie could be on his way down. The window was already half open so I pushed it up the rest of the way. The screen came off easily and I hastly set it on the floor. For an unexplainable reason I pushed the flowers up to my face and took a whiff before I tossed them out the window.
I had just put the screen back on when Mattie came in. "It smells weird in here..." He said, looking around the room before shrugging.
"Yah... opening a window now!" I laughed, trying not to sound hysterical. "Ummm... I think I'm going to bed now..." I continued, quickly changing into my PJs while Mattie checked his e-mail on the computer. I hoped into bed and rolled over against the wall, Mattie crawled in a few minutes later and curled up around me.
"Night babe..." he sighed into my ear, his warm breath blowing across my face.
"Night Mattie."
He pulled me against him tight and soon his breathing was steady. I continued to lie awake trying to make sense of the note that was in the pocket of the jeans I had just disgarded on the floor.
It was well after Consti had come in and feel asleep before I finally gave in to... the words 'was just thinking about you' still etched in my mind.
As our schedules informed us, Sunday and Monday would be spent in exhibition games. We would play anywhere from two to four games, the first two teams to win two games got a pass to the semi-finals. We had tuesdays off to work with our teams, and then Wednesday and Thursday would be the semis. Friday we were off again before the finals, which would take place Saturday night.
I was excited to play again but I was also having a hard time shaking the feeling I got everytime I thought of playing against Mattie. I, of course, had been playing against him lots in the past week, but we were being judged individually then; his team loseing to mine or vise, hadn't had as big of an impact as it would have this week.
Sitting next to him now in the rec room, his arm flung carelessly around my shoulders, most people wouldn't be able to pick up on his edgy-ness. I was not most people. The thought of watching him lose made me upset, but I wasn't a fan of loseing either; nor were Consti, Carrol and Marty who would also be playing each other tomorrow.
"I'm tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed, you staying here?" I said quietly, leaning in to him.
"Yah for another minute maybe, I'll be there soon though alright?" I nodded, kissing him goodbye before I left. I made my way down the hall to our room, it was strange how much less noise there was in the dorms now. There were still way too many teenaged boys for it to be considered quiet, but it was almost errie after the weeks before.
When I got to our room I flopped down on the bed; Consti was already lying on his, flipping through a sports illustrated. "You worried about tomorrow?" I asked, searching for my PJs
"Nope." he answered, never taking his eyes from the pages.
"You're playing Marty tomorrow, aren't worried at all?"
"Nope."
I let out a deep sigh before grabbing my PJs and heading into the bathroom. When I came out Consti was watching me, with a big smile on his face. "What?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him.
"What's got you so wound up tonight?" He asked, tossing his magazine aside while he continued to look at me.
"You're playing your best friend tomorrow, and you're not even worried at all about the outcome?"
"Nope," he laughed, "I know the outcome, I'm gonna beat his team, and try to get him to fight me if I can... if he won't, I'm just gonna put him on his ass a bunch." He replied so matter-of-factly it was hard to tell if he was being serious.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No, I just think you're being stupid. Mattie's a good player and he's not gonna be pissed if you beat him. It's probably not even gonna make him look bad if you beat him. Mattie's awesome, he'll make Team USA and he'll do it even after he looses to you."
"You don't think he'll hate me, if I win?"
He gave a loud laugh before talking again. "Are you gonna hate him if he wins?" I shook my head, "And, will you break up with him if he scores on you?" I continued to shake my head. "Carlie, if anything, he'll be pissed if you let him score on you... it'd de-man him, and let's face it... Mattie ain't got a whole lotta man as it is." I stared at him incredulity, and he just laughed harder. I began to smile as I watched him tear-up from his own joke. Mattie pushed open to door a second later, stopping short as he looked over at Consti. His sudden appearance had forced Consti into even more histarics and I couldn't help but laugh along; Mattie just shook his head as he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Consti was snoring before I had even got comfortable. I finally found my nook, nestled in against Mattie, my head on his chest. He was lying on his back with one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around me, coming to rest on the small of my back. "Carlie?" He whispered, his lips brushing the tope of my head.
"Mmmhmmm..." I replied, feeling exhaustion beginning to overwhelm me.
"I'll love you, no matter what happens this week, I just want you to know that. Obviously I'd love to make it onto the team with you, but I'll be proud of you... no matter what. You know that right?"
"I know." I sighed, surpressing the following 'now' that was on my lips. "And the same goes for you... I'm sad I can't play with you now though..."
"We can play together in Russia." He replied in a husky voice, his fingers beginning to run up and down my spine. "We can even do some hockey if you want..." I laughed as I rolled on top of him and brushed my lips across his.
"Who likes hockey anyway?"
There was a few minutes left in the game against Mattie's team, we were up 6-2. The score was surprising to say the least, my team was actually fairly awful. Aaron had two goals and I had four, plus an assist. The rest of the team seemed to be sitting around waiting for me to do something; I thought it was impart to the brand-new 'C' that was now attatched to my jersey. It was beginning to feel more like a curse than anything, just as I'm sure Aaron was no longer thrilled about his 'A' as he had been that morning. It was fun to be winning, but team victories were always much more satisfactory than personal wins... this one was, unfortunitly, a two man effort.
I was happy that Mattie was doing great though. He had one goal and one assist but he was playing very agressive, something he didn't do nearly enough; it was paying off. It was nice to see that he had also been named an alternate captain for his team, he was definetly the best out there.
By the time the final buzzer sounded the score hadn't changed. I made my way to the locker room and showered quickly, changing into some casual clothing before heading out into the main hall. Mattie was waiting for me, all smiles, as I approached. "Good game babe." He said, pulling me into a warm hug and kissing me. I smiled back at him.
"If I knew you took an ass whoppin this good, I'd do it more often!" He laughed and took my hand, leading me out into the cool night air.
"Not so much the loss it's self, but I think I did pretty good tonight... and by the way babe... you're team kind of sucks!"
"Ugh! I know! Why bother telling me again?"
"Just thought you might like to know, I mean, as Captain and everything..." He started to laugh and I playfully punched him in the arm.
"I wonder who we play tomorrow..." I thought out loud as we continued walking towards the dorm.
"Um, don't quote me on this but I think you're gonna be playing Jake... I'm playing Consti and Carrol!! That should be... interesting..."
Once we were inside the dorm Mattie left to find Marty, promising to only be a minute, as I continued to make my way down to our room. I opened the door to a smell that caught me off guard. Not that our room smelled too bad, we left our gear at the rink afterall, but I didn't wear perfume and I was fairly sure that Mattie and Consti weren't into flower scents.
I flicked on the lights and saw a bouquet of flowers on the computer desk with a small note attached. I approached the desk cautiously, the sunflowers and gerber babies looked friendly enough, but their appearance was a little strange. Oh... Mattie! I laughed suddenly wondering why I hadn't thought of it sooner, where did he get time to get me flowers? I pulled the card off the holder and tore open the note.
Carlie, was just thinking about you. Wanted to say good luck and I can't wait to see you in Russia...
The signature on the bottom of the card was not Matties. I hastly shoved the small card into my back pocket and began to freak out. Oh my god... oh my god... oh my god... I had to get rid of them. Why? It's not like I'm hiding anything... Why would he send me flowers... Okay. Calm down. You're over reacting. He was just wishing you good luck is all... Mattie would believe that right... I let out a groan. No guy would be ok with another guy sending his girlfriend flowers and then basically promising to see them somewhere.
I didn't have much time, Mattie could be on his way down. The window was already half open so I pushed it up the rest of the way. The screen came off easily and I hastly set it on the floor. For an unexplainable reason I pushed the flowers up to my face and took a whiff before I tossed them out the window.
I had just put the screen back on when Mattie came in. "It smells weird in here..." He said, looking around the room before shrugging.
"Yah... opening a window now!" I laughed, trying not to sound hysterical. "Ummm... I think I'm going to bed now..." I continued, quickly changing into my PJs while Mattie checked his e-mail on the computer. I hoped into bed and rolled over against the wall, Mattie crawled in a few minutes later and curled up around me.
"Night babe..." he sighed into my ear, his warm breath blowing across my face.
"Night Mattie."
He pulled me against him tight and soon his breathing was steady. I continued to lie awake trying to make sense of the note that was in the pocket of the jeans I had just disgarded on the floor.
It was well after Consti had come in and feel asleep before I finally gave in to... the words 'was just thinking about you' still etched in my mind.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Chapter 13
When I rolled over the clock was shining 5:58 back at me. I let out a sigh and rolled back over, pulling the sheets up over my head. Mattie was softly snoring beside me, taking up much more than his half of the bed; sleeping like a baby. I lay there a few more minutes before giving up on sleep all together, opting for an early morning workout instead. Pulling the covers back off my head and getting off the bed I saw Consti sprawled out across his bed fully dressed, over the covers. Looks like someone had a good night anyway... Grabbing some gym change out of my suitcase, I made my way into the bathroom and changed out of my PJs.
I jogged the whole way down to the gym; although it was still fairly dark out I could see everything clearly in the dawning light. I let myself in through the front doors, happy to find them already unlocked. The girl sitting behind the front desk smiled at me as I walked by and I nodded in return before turning the corner and heading into the cardio room.
I was sweating heavily by the time I felt someone else in the room. I turned around to see Dean walking up behind me, he was smiling. "Awful early for the suits to be up isn't it?" I laughed over my shoulder as he stopped behind the bike.
"Awful early to be killing yourself on a bike, isn't it?" I retorted, his smile widening.
I chuckled and turned back around, slowing the pedals down. He let me finish my cool down before he spoke again. "You heading over to the dinning hall now?"
"Yah... I'll be there for 8."
"Listen Carlie, I need to talk to you about something..."
I let out a sigh and gave Dean my full attention. I'm sure he was probably trying to save me some embarrassment, maybe he was going to tell me that I didn't make the team now and offer to let me leave before the actual cuts were posted. It was the best I could hope for now.
"It's about last night, you can't keep doing that, ok?"
"Umm... what?" I bit my lip in consideration, this conversation was starting of strange.
"Going on defence like that. Carlie, if you make Team USA you're a forward for Team USA. You can't just decide that you're going to play defence and force your team to change position accordingly. You said to me, that you didn't want special treatment, and this is me telling you that you won't get it. You're a good player, we know that; play the game you know, let the defence play theirs." He reached out and gave me a fatherly pat on the shoulder before heading out the door. I leaned up against the stationary bike I had just been riding. What did this mean? He was giving me advice for 'if you make Team USA', not, 'when you get home and go back to Junior'. Did this mean I wasn't cut? I headed off to the shower.
Not really concious of my actions I somehow showered and dressed, heading off at a brisk pace to the dinning hall. I saw Consti point at me when I got closer and Mattie appeared on the otherside of him, relief flooding his face. "Where did you get off to this morning?" He asked pulling me into a tight hug.
"I couldn't sleep, just decided to go on the bike for a bit... we should probably get in there." I said nodded over towards the door people were now passing through. Mattie took my hand and lead me in, Consti, Carrol and Marty in tow.
"You seem in a much better mood?" Mattie suggested, a question more than a statement.
"Ummm yah, I talked to Dean for a sec this morning. I'm not sure but... I don't think I'm heading home." I was afraid to get into more detail as we took our seats, it would be just my luck to jinx it.
"Oh... that's awesome."
"Mattie, you have to know you're not going home." I laughed at his worried expression, "You're a shoe-in babe!" I gave his hand a squeeze as the rest of the guys sat down.
"How do you think he's gonna tell us?" Carrol asked, glancing around the room, searching for Dean.
"Announcement maybe?" Marty said, his head down on the table, clearly more hungover than Consti, who was playing the 'drums' on the table.
"Dude, she's hott!" He announced loudly, motioning towards a server in the near-by corner.
"Consti, we're about to find out who got cut... we could be going home..." Carrol spat, outraged at Constis' lack of concern.
"Yah man, I'd like to take her home..." He laughed, finally catching her eye and smiling. She blushed and turned back to her work. "Al-right..."
We groaned in unison, leave it to Consti. "There's Dean!" Mattie said, we all turned to see Dean taking the stage. The dinning hall fell silent immediatly.
"Alright everyone, we're posting the names on the wall there," he pointed over to the back wall, "of all the people who are going to be staying with us for another week. If you're name isn't on that list, you will not be playing for Team USA. So enjoy your breakfast and check the sheets on your way out. If you are on the list, then please meet us in the ampitheater at 10am."
The hall stayed silent, everyone glancing around at each other, wondering what to do. Consti got up and headed over towards the female server, grabbing a plate off the counter and approaching her. Mattie gave a faultered laugh and looked back at me, fear evident in his eyes. The assistant trainers were now posting sheets on the wall, there wasn't alot of them. The courage I had been given by Dean this morning evaporated as I looked over at the 6 sheets on the wall.
A chair scraping on the floor brought my attention away from the wall and back to my table, Marty was getting up and making his way over to the wall. His fingers ran over 5 of the 6 sheets, before he turned and walked back to us. He paused for a minute at the table, looking at each one of us and then over at Consti. "We're all on there... we're all staying." His face changed into a grin as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, his fingers punching out a text as he made his way over to Consti.
I couldn't help but smile as relief flooded through me. Mattie stood up and pulled me up beside him, wrapping me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and looked down at Carrol, he was smiling towards the wall. Slowly other people in the hall began to get up and make their way over to the list. "Mattie," I whispered, still wrapped around him, "I don't think I wanna stay here for this..." He nodded before turning to Carrol.
"We're gonna head back to the room, you wanna come?"
"Naw, I'm gonna grab some food I think, I'll meet you there after."
I waved goodbye and followed Mattie out of the hall, afraid to meet anyone's eyes on the way out. Now that I was sure I had made it through the cut I could afford to feel bad for other people; and watching other people get their dreams crushed wasn't my ideal start to the day.
I felt like singing, I felt like dancing. I was sure that the worse had to be over. Now we would play a tournament, something I was accustomed too, and even though the stakes were higher I felt confident in my abilities. There had been well over a hundred people in the camp, and we had been cut in half. I was better than half of the people that had been here.
Mattie was walking with a bounce in his step too, he smiled over at me and took my hand in his as we made our way up the steps into the dorms.
Sitting in the ampitheater with the remaining players was such a rush. Everyone was jubilent with the results, and although there was a bittersweet side to the day, we were all pumped to be here. I smiled over at Jake and Aaron, a few rows away, and continued to glance around at the people left. Althought there was about 70 people left, and even though there were a few faces I couldn't find, I was too thrilled that my friends were still with me to let anything break my spirit. As Dean took to the stage again, the hall errupted into cheers. He allowed us to continue our roudiness for a minute longer before holding up his hands in a command of silence. "Congradulations on making it this far! Now, the fun part! All of you will be divided into 6 teams, 11 players per team. You will each have 1 goalie and 2 full lines. Each team will elect a captain and an alternate captain, and it will be up to your elected teammates to make the decisions for the games; you will not have mock coaches this time. Amanda, one of our medical interns for the World Juniors is handing out the team lists. The teams have been selected to be as fair and equal as possible, each list has the room number and names of the people you will spend the next week with, please don't loose it! On next 2 sheets you will notice game times and practice times, I suggest you use them wisely. If you have any questions come see me. You're free to go!"
We waited quietly in the back row as Amanda made her way up the isles, handing out packs of paper as she went. When she reached us she passed the last of her stack to Carrol and headed back down the steps. As the sheets made their way down to us, my nerves began to act up again, Please let me have a good team! I sighed to myself. I knew better than to hope for Mattie on the same team, they wouldn't put two of the best players together.
Sure enough I was right. My team consisted of only 1 person I knew. I read over each name... trying to put a face to it:
Allen, Kris (RW)
Anderson, Anderw (D)
Butler, Jeremy (D)
Doiron, Jonathan (D)
Donnelly, Tommy (RW)
Jones, Chris (G)
Simone, Carlie (C)
Stanley, Ethan (LW)
Stewart, Peter (LW)
Tucker, Eddie (D)
Turner, Aaron (C)
Aaron, Jake's roommate would be on my team, but not on my line. I tried not to let this bother me, I had been playing games with random people all week, no big deal.
I felt Mattie shift beside me and sigh as he gazed down at the last piece of paper in our bundle. "What is it?" I asked leaning over the arm-rest to see his sheet.
"The games start tomorrow, my first game is against you..."
I jogged the whole way down to the gym; although it was still fairly dark out I could see everything clearly in the dawning light. I let myself in through the front doors, happy to find them already unlocked. The girl sitting behind the front desk smiled at me as I walked by and I nodded in return before turning the corner and heading into the cardio room.
I was sweating heavily by the time I felt someone else in the room. I turned around to see Dean walking up behind me, he was smiling. "Awful early for the suits to be up isn't it?" I laughed over my shoulder as he stopped behind the bike.
"Awful early to be killing yourself on a bike, isn't it?" I retorted, his smile widening.
I chuckled and turned back around, slowing the pedals down. He let me finish my cool down before he spoke again. "You heading over to the dinning hall now?"
"Yah... I'll be there for 8."
"Listen Carlie, I need to talk to you about something..."
I let out a sigh and gave Dean my full attention. I'm sure he was probably trying to save me some embarrassment, maybe he was going to tell me that I didn't make the team now and offer to let me leave before the actual cuts were posted. It was the best I could hope for now.
"It's about last night, you can't keep doing that, ok?"
"Umm... what?" I bit my lip in consideration, this conversation was starting of strange.
"Going on defence like that. Carlie, if you make Team USA you're a forward for Team USA. You can't just decide that you're going to play defence and force your team to change position accordingly. You said to me, that you didn't want special treatment, and this is me telling you that you won't get it. You're a good player, we know that; play the game you know, let the defence play theirs." He reached out and gave me a fatherly pat on the shoulder before heading out the door. I leaned up against the stationary bike I had just been riding. What did this mean? He was giving me advice for 'if you make Team USA', not, 'when you get home and go back to Junior'. Did this mean I wasn't cut? I headed off to the shower.
Not really concious of my actions I somehow showered and dressed, heading off at a brisk pace to the dinning hall. I saw Consti point at me when I got closer and Mattie appeared on the otherside of him, relief flooding his face. "Where did you get off to this morning?" He asked pulling me into a tight hug.
"I couldn't sleep, just decided to go on the bike for a bit... we should probably get in there." I said nodded over towards the door people were now passing through. Mattie took my hand and lead me in, Consti, Carrol and Marty in tow.
"You seem in a much better mood?" Mattie suggested, a question more than a statement.
"Ummm yah, I talked to Dean for a sec this morning. I'm not sure but... I don't think I'm heading home." I was afraid to get into more detail as we took our seats, it would be just my luck to jinx it.
"Oh... that's awesome."
"Mattie, you have to know you're not going home." I laughed at his worried expression, "You're a shoe-in babe!" I gave his hand a squeeze as the rest of the guys sat down.
"How do you think he's gonna tell us?" Carrol asked, glancing around the room, searching for Dean.
"Announcement maybe?" Marty said, his head down on the table, clearly more hungover than Consti, who was playing the 'drums' on the table.
"Dude, she's hott!" He announced loudly, motioning towards a server in the near-by corner.
"Consti, we're about to find out who got cut... we could be going home..." Carrol spat, outraged at Constis' lack of concern.
"Yah man, I'd like to take her home..." He laughed, finally catching her eye and smiling. She blushed and turned back to her work. "Al-right..."
We groaned in unison, leave it to Consti. "There's Dean!" Mattie said, we all turned to see Dean taking the stage. The dinning hall fell silent immediatly.
"Alright everyone, we're posting the names on the wall there," he pointed over to the back wall, "of all the people who are going to be staying with us for another week. If you're name isn't on that list, you will not be playing for Team USA. So enjoy your breakfast and check the sheets on your way out. If you are on the list, then please meet us in the ampitheater at 10am."
The hall stayed silent, everyone glancing around at each other, wondering what to do. Consti got up and headed over towards the female server, grabbing a plate off the counter and approaching her. Mattie gave a faultered laugh and looked back at me, fear evident in his eyes. The assistant trainers were now posting sheets on the wall, there wasn't alot of them. The courage I had been given by Dean this morning evaporated as I looked over at the 6 sheets on the wall.
A chair scraping on the floor brought my attention away from the wall and back to my table, Marty was getting up and making his way over to the wall. His fingers ran over 5 of the 6 sheets, before he turned and walked back to us. He paused for a minute at the table, looking at each one of us and then over at Consti. "We're all on there... we're all staying." His face changed into a grin as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, his fingers punching out a text as he made his way over to Consti.
I couldn't help but smile as relief flooded through me. Mattie stood up and pulled me up beside him, wrapping me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and looked down at Carrol, he was smiling towards the wall. Slowly other people in the hall began to get up and make their way over to the list. "Mattie," I whispered, still wrapped around him, "I don't think I wanna stay here for this..." He nodded before turning to Carrol.
"We're gonna head back to the room, you wanna come?"
"Naw, I'm gonna grab some food I think, I'll meet you there after."
I waved goodbye and followed Mattie out of the hall, afraid to meet anyone's eyes on the way out. Now that I was sure I had made it through the cut I could afford to feel bad for other people; and watching other people get their dreams crushed wasn't my ideal start to the day.
I felt like singing, I felt like dancing. I was sure that the worse had to be over. Now we would play a tournament, something I was accustomed too, and even though the stakes were higher I felt confident in my abilities. There had been well over a hundred people in the camp, and we had been cut in half. I was better than half of the people that had been here.
Mattie was walking with a bounce in his step too, he smiled over at me and took my hand in his as we made our way up the steps into the dorms.
Sitting in the ampitheater with the remaining players was such a rush. Everyone was jubilent with the results, and although there was a bittersweet side to the day, we were all pumped to be here. I smiled over at Jake and Aaron, a few rows away, and continued to glance around at the people left. Althought there was about 70 people left, and even though there were a few faces I couldn't find, I was too thrilled that my friends were still with me to let anything break my spirit. As Dean took to the stage again, the hall errupted into cheers. He allowed us to continue our roudiness for a minute longer before holding up his hands in a command of silence. "Congradulations on making it this far! Now, the fun part! All of you will be divided into 6 teams, 11 players per team. You will each have 1 goalie and 2 full lines. Each team will elect a captain and an alternate captain, and it will be up to your elected teammates to make the decisions for the games; you will not have mock coaches this time. Amanda, one of our medical interns for the World Juniors is handing out the team lists. The teams have been selected to be as fair and equal as possible, each list has the room number and names of the people you will spend the next week with, please don't loose it! On next 2 sheets you will notice game times and practice times, I suggest you use them wisely. If you have any questions come see me. You're free to go!"
We waited quietly in the back row as Amanda made her way up the isles, handing out packs of paper as she went. When she reached us she passed the last of her stack to Carrol and headed back down the steps. As the sheets made their way down to us, my nerves began to act up again, Please let me have a good team! I sighed to myself. I knew better than to hope for Mattie on the same team, they wouldn't put two of the best players together.
Sure enough I was right. My team consisted of only 1 person I knew. I read over each name... trying to put a face to it:
Allen, Kris (RW)
Anderson, Anderw (D)
Butler, Jeremy (D)
Doiron, Jonathan (D)
Donnelly, Tommy (RW)
Jones, Chris (G)
Simone, Carlie (C)
Stanley, Ethan (LW)
Stewart, Peter (LW)
Tucker, Eddie (D)
Turner, Aaron (C)
Aaron, Jake's roommate would be on my team, but not on my line. I tried not to let this bother me, I had been playing games with random people all week, no big deal.
I felt Mattie shift beside me and sigh as he gazed down at the last piece of paper in our bundle. "What is it?" I asked leaning over the arm-rest to see his sheet.
"The games start tomorrow, my first game is against you..."
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Chapter 12
***Sorry this is so much shorter than usual... work and school are really taking a toll on my free time! I just wanted to fire this off and give you guys a little update... I'll be adding another one within the next couple days! Thanks for all the comments! I get really excited when I see them! =D***
I had never wanted anything so bad. NHL, acceptance, approval, none of it mattered anymore. I saw their defence struggling, their goalie falter and their forwards near the brink of exhaustion; and I wanted to take them there.
It was the last game of the week, the game of the week. I teetered back and forth between victory and defeat, unable to convince myself that I was going to make it to the next cuts. I lead the weeks games in points by a huge margin, followed by Jake and then Mattie, but the trainers were still not convinced that I could play in a league created for men.
There was a little over a minute left in the last period, and we were winning by one. The score sat at 4-3, having scored three times and gained an assist I was exploding with energy and adrenalin. I looked up into the crowd to see Mattie sitting in the front row, leaning forward in his seat with his head resting in his hands. He face looked worried, and I saw his eyes move from me, to the coaches infront of him and then back to me. I let out a sigh, what does a girl gotta do around here? I thought with resentment, before heading back to the bench.
"Alright, so... let's just run the clock down, a minute-twelve left..." our 'coach' for the night suggested as we gathered around.
"I want D!" I shouted, through the crowd of guys infront of me.
"Ahh, wh- wh- what?" he stuttered back as the ref blew his whistle.
"I'm goin on D ok? Ok, cool!" I skated off towards the ref before he could say anything else.
Marty skated up beside me quietly, "I'm taking the face off... you want me to let him grab it?" I nodded as he skated away to turn over the puck. I leaned over, ready to knock a few boys down, catching sight of Mattie in the stands. He was sitting with his hands now completely covering his face, I was sure he was cursing me under his breath; I smiled to myself as the puck dropped.
The celebration that ensued that night was dizzying to say the least. I had managed to score again, breaking the record for the most goals ever scored at the training camp and after my decent little stint on defence, everyone was sure I was a shoe-in for Team USA. It seemed that everyone was in high spirits that night, and I couldn't help but realize; some of these guys are going home tomorrow...
I was standing in a circle of my 'team mates' at least, the guys I had just finished plaing with and I began to search Mattie out through the crowd. It wasn't hard to find him, he was the only person not celebrating; sitting on the couch, a coke in his hand and his ballcap pulled down low over his face. I said goodnight to the guys around me, laughing at their groans and complaints as they tried to get me to stay, and made my way over to where Mattie was sitting.
I held out my hand to him and he took it, pushing himself off the couch and following me back to our room.
We walked in a comfortable silence until we reached the room, Mattie pushed open our door and fell onto the bed. I pulled my PJs out of my suitcase and changed quickly, before jumping onto bed beside him. I snuggled up as closely as I could to him; he chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.
I pushed my face into his chest and sighed. "Everything alright?" I asked, pulling my head up to look at him.
"Yah, worried is all..." he continued to gaze at me intently, his blue eyes filled with concern.
"Are you worried about how I'm going to react if I get the boot?" I smiled at him, trying to hide the fact that inside I was terrified.
"No..." he shook his head thoughtfully. "Carlie, if I get sent home, are you gonna break up with me?"
I started to laugh. I could tell by the look on his face that he was 100% serious, but the idea was so foolish I couldn't help it. "What?" he said, concern filling his face once again, "why is that so funny? I'm serious Carlie!"
"I know! That's why I'm laughing!" I pulled myself up towards his face and planted a kiss on his lips. "Mattie," I sighed, "If I get sent home, are you gonna break up with me?"
"What? No!" He pulled me into a tight bear hug and I began to laugh again. "Oh, ok yah... dumb question." He started to chuckle too and we lay there laughing for a while.
After calming down and laying in silence a bit more Mattie sighed and pushed himself off the bed. "How late do you think Consti will be out for?" He asked as he slid his shirt over his head. I looked over at the clock 10:47 and then back at him.
"Ummm a couple hours maybe, depends how drunk they are." I let out a groan. In a little over nine hours I would know what was going to happen to us, I was never going to get to sleep tonight.
"Hmmm... well then, seeing as how tonight could be our last night here... I can think of some goods ways to spend it!"
"Oh really? And what would that be now?" I laughed as Mattie pounced on top of me. He brought his lips down ontop of mine and I intertwined my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. He lifted me off the bed and crushed me aginst him as he began to pull my shorts off. As Matties' finger began to push inside of me, I began to forget all about tomorrow morning.
I had never wanted anything so bad. NHL, acceptance, approval, none of it mattered anymore. I saw their defence struggling, their goalie falter and their forwards near the brink of exhaustion; and I wanted to take them there.
It was the last game of the week, the game of the week. I teetered back and forth between victory and defeat, unable to convince myself that I was going to make it to the next cuts. I lead the weeks games in points by a huge margin, followed by Jake and then Mattie, but the trainers were still not convinced that I could play in a league created for men.
There was a little over a minute left in the last period, and we were winning by one. The score sat at 4-3, having scored three times and gained an assist I was exploding with energy and adrenalin. I looked up into the crowd to see Mattie sitting in the front row, leaning forward in his seat with his head resting in his hands. He face looked worried, and I saw his eyes move from me, to the coaches infront of him and then back to me. I let out a sigh, what does a girl gotta do around here? I thought with resentment, before heading back to the bench.
"Alright, so... let's just run the clock down, a minute-twelve left..." our 'coach' for the night suggested as we gathered around.
"I want D!" I shouted, through the crowd of guys infront of me.
"Ahh, wh- wh- what?" he stuttered back as the ref blew his whistle.
"I'm goin on D ok? Ok, cool!" I skated off towards the ref before he could say anything else.
Marty skated up beside me quietly, "I'm taking the face off... you want me to let him grab it?" I nodded as he skated away to turn over the puck. I leaned over, ready to knock a few boys down, catching sight of Mattie in the stands. He was sitting with his hands now completely covering his face, I was sure he was cursing me under his breath; I smiled to myself as the puck dropped.
The celebration that ensued that night was dizzying to say the least. I had managed to score again, breaking the record for the most goals ever scored at the training camp and after my decent little stint on defence, everyone was sure I was a shoe-in for Team USA. It seemed that everyone was in high spirits that night, and I couldn't help but realize; some of these guys are going home tomorrow...
I was standing in a circle of my 'team mates' at least, the guys I had just finished plaing with and I began to search Mattie out through the crowd. It wasn't hard to find him, he was the only person not celebrating; sitting on the couch, a coke in his hand and his ballcap pulled down low over his face. I said goodnight to the guys around me, laughing at their groans and complaints as they tried to get me to stay, and made my way over to where Mattie was sitting.
I held out my hand to him and he took it, pushing himself off the couch and following me back to our room.
We walked in a comfortable silence until we reached the room, Mattie pushed open our door and fell onto the bed. I pulled my PJs out of my suitcase and changed quickly, before jumping onto bed beside him. I snuggled up as closely as I could to him; he chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.
I pushed my face into his chest and sighed. "Everything alright?" I asked, pulling my head up to look at him.
"Yah, worried is all..." he continued to gaze at me intently, his blue eyes filled with concern.
"Are you worried about how I'm going to react if I get the boot?" I smiled at him, trying to hide the fact that inside I was terrified.
"No..." he shook his head thoughtfully. "Carlie, if I get sent home, are you gonna break up with me?"
I started to laugh. I could tell by the look on his face that he was 100% serious, but the idea was so foolish I couldn't help it. "What?" he said, concern filling his face once again, "why is that so funny? I'm serious Carlie!"
"I know! That's why I'm laughing!" I pulled myself up towards his face and planted a kiss on his lips. "Mattie," I sighed, "If I get sent home, are you gonna break up with me?"
"What? No!" He pulled me into a tight bear hug and I began to laugh again. "Oh, ok yah... dumb question." He started to chuckle too and we lay there laughing for a while.
After calming down and laying in silence a bit more Mattie sighed and pushed himself off the bed. "How late do you think Consti will be out for?" He asked as he slid his shirt over his head. I looked over at the clock 10:47 and then back at him.
"Ummm a couple hours maybe, depends how drunk they are." I let out a groan. In a little over nine hours I would know what was going to happen to us, I was never going to get to sleep tonight.
"Hmmm... well then, seeing as how tonight could be our last night here... I can think of some goods ways to spend it!"
"Oh really? And what would that be now?" I laughed as Mattie pounced on top of me. He brought his lips down ontop of mine and I intertwined my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. He lifted me off the bed and crushed me aginst him as he began to pull my shorts off. As Matties' finger began to push inside of me, I began to forget all about tomorrow morning.
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